Post 0042: Success…? Success!

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I meant to write yesterday, but with how busy I was I never got around to it during the day, and once I was finally home I didn’t have the energy. I feel like I should make myself be more consistent with my writing times. It seems to work well saving it for when I am at lab since it is so quiet in CRI1.

Just need to be more diligent about writing in the morning on the days that I don’t have to be in to work at 5am.

Since I haven’t written since Sunday I have a few days worth of catching up to do, and what a two days it has been.

So, Sunday. I finished off my GR1 assignment. I got around to doing my weekly recap, and got a bunch of chores taken care of. I finally got to do my laundry, which was actually pretty awesome.

The place I go to is “The Lucky Coin Wash”. Basically all of the machines are set up that every once in a while you will get ‘lucky’. You put in one quarter and –poof- your wash starts without having to finish paying. So basically you get to wash your stuff for a quarter instead of 3 bucks.

Well… as fate would have it I got lucky and only had to pay a quarter. I’m thinking that’s a score, especially since I had to push myself super hard to leave the apartment to get anything done at all. It was like the universe took pity on me. “I know this sucks, so here’s something to make it not so bad / hug”.

Thank you, universe. I love you, too. ❤

While the wash was going I went to Publix to do the grocery shopping. That wasn’t as bad as I had thought it would be. I mean, there were people there, but I was in and out without much fuss and without having to talk to anyone aside from the cashier.

I went back to laundry and switched it to the drier. While that was going I called Allison. That has been on my to-do lsit for almost two weeks now. She had called and left a voice mail, and I never got around to calling her back. Part of that has to do with the fact that we haven’t talked in so long, almost six months, and I was having mild anxiety over how the conversation was going to go.

Since I had time, and she had messaged me again, I called so we could talk. It was actually a pretty good conversation. I was super tired, and my phone was about to die, but we chatted until my laundry was done, with the intention of talking more after both our phone’s had a chance to charge.

When I got home I was pretty proud that I got the groceries into the apartment along with my laundry. I even put the food away. I cuddled with Scarlet for a little bit so my phone could charge and the next thing I knew I was waking up at 3am.

I really don’t mean to be a crummy friend. : /

I messaged Allison to let her know what happened. We have plans to chat again this coming Sunday.

Monday I was looking at SAL at 5pm followed by CRI1 5am, so I knew that I had to sort of take it easy to be able to survive my stint. Go go endurance.

I had a pretty awesome breakfast of eggs and bacon. I worked on Joey’s cross-stitch for a bit. I called the vet and got an appointment set up for Scarlet at 10:20, and since I still had a bit of time before that I ran to the bank, withdrew money for the phone bill, and mailed that to Sir. Huge thing done.

After that it was time for Scarlet to be seen, so I packed her up in the cat carrier.

She was not a happy camper. I felt so bad for her. The night before I had given her a bath, and now here I was moving her around, and about to have her stabbed with needles. I’m a terrible parent. ;-;

The vet was pretty quick. She got the three shots she needs for being boarded, and the vet said she looked perfectly fine. All in all it was only $100 for everything. Way cheaper than I thought it would be.

Scarlet was pretty annoyed with me, but after being home for a little while she warmed back up.

I figured I had procrastinated enough by doing personal chores and that it was time to get to work on the Fish rig for Alex.

I’ve been having a bit of anxiety over that as well.

Why so much anxiety and aversion to things? So annoying…

I haven’t really rigged anything in about a year, and I definitely haven’t done anything like a fish before, or the cartoony eyes that Alex wants. So I really didn’t know if I would be able to pull it off, on top of the fact that it was supposed to be completed yesterday… I wasn’t feeling warm and fuzzy about it.

I struggled with the eyes at first. They weren’t coming out the way I wanted, which sucked. It added to my feelings of misgiving, that I shouldn’t have taken on the project and that I wouldn’t be able to survive out in the ‘industry’. Basically that I was a failure and only able to teach basic level stuff.

I finally got a system that worked though, and I really like the results.

Before I had left for the vet I had messaged Jarrett again about signing the paper for the apartment. During the time I was struggling with the rig he messaged me saying he would be on campus from 1 to 9. I asked if we could meet at 7pm, to which he replied, “Possibly”.

For f’s sake, can you just give me a straight answer for once? It’s not like I don’t have anything else going on where I can cater to your need for attention. Just tell me yes or no so we can move on from there. Not this limbo, kind of soft of maybe, poke at me for more answers bs. >.< /endrage

I was so frustrated at that point between having to constantly deal with answers (if I’m lucky enough to get them) like that and the fish being mean to me and not working the way I wanted it to.

I messaged him back asking what would be the best time for him. He replied with ‘idk right now’.

Fine. Right now it is. I told him I would be at school as soon as traffic would let me. I packed up everything, including a pen since I knew he wouldn’t have one, and I wasn’t going to let that stop me from getting his signature, and headed to school.

I didn’t want to see him. I didn’t want to deal with him. I was already in a bad mood, and confrontational, and I wasn’t going to handhold or coddle him like I normally do. Sign the paper and let me get back to my life, k thks bie.

He didn’t want to sign it at first because he said he might want to renew the lease. F; that. I drove out here, you’re signing the paper if I have to cut off your hand and sign it for you myself.

He has been kicking the idea of getting a three bedroom apartment with some people. I told him that if he did something like that it would be a completely new lease, which it would be, and that this one was over.

He said ok… and actually signed the paper! Like, signed it, I drove to La Aloma and turned it in, and there’s nothing more I need to do, signed the paper. Like, the lease is over at the end of January, he will be out of my life signed the paper.

After going to La Aloma I came home and scheduled both the Internet and electric accounts to be closed at the end of January.

You would think that I would feel great, that a weight had been lifted off of me because I am four steps closer to my goal. But I don’t. I feel tense and hesitant when I think about the situation still. I don’t feel better, I feel cautious.

I feel like things are going to get worse before they get better. I feel like as the end gets closer that he’s going to start lashing out again, or that he will do something to the apartment. I don’t feel like it is over. I feel like I won’t feel better until it is legitimately over in February.

At least it is done. He knows that he is obligated to find something else now. He has to be out. And the accounts will be closed. Later than what I was hoping for, but there is an end in sight. I can make it these next three months. I just have to hold out until February.

So, still, another four major things done; paper signed, turned in, and two accounts scheduled to be closed.

After messing with the accounts I got back to work on the fish. I actually started making really good headway on it, and figured out a system that I wanted to implement. Since I had been playing around with different things, I wrote down all of the steps that I would need to do to recreate the system, that way I could reopen the file and do it from scratch and know that the file would stay clean.

By then it was almost time for me to go to work. I was feeling a bit better since I had a solid battle plan down for the rig. I put my cloths away, packed my lunch box, and headed to work.

While in SAL I got the eye system set up and fixed some of the weighting issues that I had noticed. I also added a handful of additional features like space switching on the main eye control.

I let Alex know about the update. That took pretty much all of my time in SAL. Before going home I wanted to scan the invoice from the vet, so my mom could have an official copy to take to the clinic where Scarlet is going to be boarded. While I was walking to the offices to do that I saw Fritz and Joe.

They were having a pretty deep conversation about black holes and matter, and religion vs science. It was a good conversation and they pulled me into it as I was walking by. It was really awesome.

Once we all parted ways I scanned and emailed the invoice, so Scarlet is 100% done. As I was driving home I called my mom to let her know about the invoice and to tell her about the whole situation with Jarrett.

We ended up talking for a while. I stood by my car once I had parked and chatted outside, just enjoying not having to do much higher-level thinking.

We got to talking about Scarlet because the vet had said she was about 15 years old. In my head there was no way that could be right. That would mean we had had her since I was about 10. But the more my mom and I talked and sort of dated different events the more we realized that she actually is most likely between 13 and 15 years old.

That realization makes me a bit sad. Bonnie, my first cat was 18 when she passed. Scarlet is getting old, and my time with her is limited. And even though I logically know that eventually she will die, part of me refuses to accept it. She’s my baby. She can’t leave.

I know I’m going to be a wreck when it does happen. It will be like losing a part of myself.

On a different note, I got all of the cooking / food prep done for this coming week. It is a good feeling knowing that all of that is taken care of.

Once I got inside the house I had a message from Alex saying there was an issue with the eyes not working with the scaling feature of the jaw. That was a super easy fix, so I went ahead and made the correction, even though I had said that I wouldn’t work on ‘work’ once I got home. Silly me…

Once that was officially done, I made a cup of green tea, yet another random thing that Joshua has for some reason.

I actually found a recipe for green coco tea. Basically you make a cup of green tea and mix hot chocolate into it. Since it has been so chilly and rainy lately I thought I would give it a go. I have also wanted to try having a cup of tea before going to sleep at night to help solidify my ‘unwind’ routine.

It was surprising nice, and I think will be something I do for the next little bit. Joshua has two boxes of hot chocolate, and I have coco powder for once those are gone. You can add a tablespoon of coco power with a packet of stevia to get the same result for fewer calories. Not that I’m really all that worried about the calorie intake. Just noting that I already have a plan for keeping it up without having to break the bank.

I downloaded Tenchi Muyo on Sunday since that is a series I have wanted to watch fully. I have the OVA that I am working through right now. I watched the first episode last night with Scarlet curled up next to me while I cross-stitched and drank my tea.

After that I went to sleep because I was dragging pretty hard. I suppose I could have written during that time instead of stitching, but I’m happy with the use of my time.

I got so much taken care of yesterday.

My lunch was already packed so I didn’t have to worry about that this morning when I woke up. I had oatmeal for breakfast with a banana, and had another reply on my assignment submission for my class that I replied to.

Overall this morning has been pretty alright. Mildly tired, but nothing I can’t handle.

I have the facial expressions for the fish to work out, but I would rather do that when I am rested and refreshed.

I don’t really have much of a goal in mind for today aside from surviving.

I was having an issue with getting onto Lynda.com to check out the Illustrator tutorials recommended for my class, but I tried again this morning and it was working fine, so I guess the issue figured itself out. Score.

So I want to go in a make a list of things to watch. I think after replying to the discussion posts for my class that I will make a list of tutorials to watch, and possibly work through some of those.

Like I said, no real end goal.

Oh! I should totally reply to Frederator since I didn’t get around to that yesterday. And depending on how things go I could work through my assignments for my class.

I know I’ll get stuff done, and things scratched off my list while I’m here at work, just not all that concerned with what it is.

There’s also training on FSO that I need to get done by Friday since I help work the BTS tour… not that they have had an afternoon shift for months, which sucks. I could use the extra $100 that would give me.

Anyway, I’m rambling more than normal right now, so I guess I should get going so I can do something with my time.

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