I have had to make a lot of hard choices. It is human nature to look for the easy way out, the fastest path, the one that offers the least resistance. And I am no exception. Many times I find myself hoping and looking for an easy fix to the problems I am faced with.
Most of the time I am looking for a way to get rid of the stress indecision can cause. If I ask for help, or delegate this to someone else it would be one less stress to contend with. One less thing to worry about while the world is crashing down around me. While I fail at being Atlas.
The times I have opted for the easy way I find I pay for later through Karma. Either I end up having to do the work myself anyway, or it factors negatively into something else. It’s just never good juju.
I also find that though it gives me a temporary reprieve, I often times end up angry and disappointed in myself. My choices are what led me to that particular situation to begin with. It is up to me to dig myself out, very much like owning up to my consequences. Every action has an equal reaction.
I find I have a hard time respecting myself afterwards because I feel like I have betrayed my honor and morals. If I wouldn’t have liked having something foisted off on me, then why did I do it to someone else? It wasn’t their problem to begin with.
Or if I ask for help, I should have been un-lazy and taken care of things in a more timely or organized fashion, rather than having to drag other people into the matter. It’s not their job to get me through the hardships I put myself it. It’s not their job to save me from myself.
I’m not saying that I am a one-woman army by any means. I have help and support on all of my projects, and I couldn’t accomplish the crazy ideas and goals I have without the love and support from family, friends, and co-workers.
What I am saying, is when the going gets tough, and I look for the easy way out, rather than buckling down and breaking out the elbow grease, things have a way of coming back to bite me.
It’s taught me not to shy away from hard work. I’ve learned that when something gets hard, that the feeling of reward and accomplishment will be greater once I scale the wall in front of me, rather than having someone hold my hand and walk me around it.
Nothing in life worth having is easy.
I value the wisdom I have gained through all of the choices I have had to make. And while not all of my choices have been easy or fun, and while not all of them have led to positive situations, I wouldn’t change anything in my past, because I value the person I am today, and the person I am becoming.