Yet another prompt which I had just got done talking to Mother Earth about.
During our conversation the other night, I asked if there was ever a moment, a grand epiphany, where I would wake up one day and feel like an adult.
As a child I remember looking to my mom, grandmother, grandfather, even Jason to a certain extent and thinking how strong they must be. How well they handled everything. Like there was some aura about them of ‘adulthood’ and that one day, I too, would have that aura about me.
I would become awakened. Mature.
I have yet to experience such an event.
I feel as I did when I turned 16. When I turned 18. When I turned 21.
All of these dates which are supposed to be life changing. Defining moments.
I felt nothing different. No angle choir to let me know I had crossed some threshold.
I felt like I did everyday.
I felt like myself.
I have had experiences. I have had relationships. I have bought a car. I have gone to college. I have obtained a stable career.
I have done all of these things, which are ‘adult’ things. But I still don’t feel like I have that otherworldly quality of being an adult.
I asked Mother Earth if there was something I was missing. Something that I was doing wrong. Had my day simply not come yet?
She said that there wasn’t anything like that. At least not for her.
Maybe that’s something that society is doing wrong.
I don’t think adulthood is a state of being. I think it’s a generalization, and a gross one at that.
All of the people I have dated have been older than me, but all of them have been so much more childish than myself. So much less of an adult than what I thought they would be.
Maybe we shouldn’t be worried about being ‘adults’ and ‘grown up’.
Maybe we should put more focus on being kind, and considerate. Maybe we should worry more about being good people rather than grown people.
There isn’t going to be a moment where we hatch out of a cocoon, transformed from a child to an adult. We are always ourselves and as we go through life we gain wisdom through our experiences.
It goes back to a post a little while ago about labels.
I’m not going to label myself as an adult, or a child, mature, immature, young, old.
I don’t like those labels or what they imply.
I am going to give myself the label of ‘Me’, and work on being the best me possible.