Daily Post 0027: Roommate Angst

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I can see the situation with Susan is going to become an issue.

I can feel myself getting more and more angsty about it.

I am not getting my morning alone time with my cup of coffee without her coming out and cooking breakfast in the kitchen. Moving pots around, things sizzling in skillets. Without her making conversation with me.

I feel this is where introverts get the reputation for hating people.

I don’t hate her. But… gtfo… like, for real.

This is my space. This is my morning routine. And your messing with it, which makes me beyond hostile. I’m not getting the recharge I need. So I don’t ‘hate’ you. I hate the whole world. Thanks for messing it up for everyone.

I cleaned out a spot in the fridge yesterday, half of the bottom most shelf, so I could have a spot for my yogurts and containers of lunches, and when I came home last night the order and structure I had created was totally f’ed all to hell so they could put a pot of rice in my space.

Can I not have half of a self for my food? Last I checked, I’m still paying half of rent… so Susan being here hasn’t benefited me at all… Let me have at least half a shelf so I can eat.

I’m getting angrier and angrier about it with each day. More sensitive to each infraction.

And I feel like there’s nothing I can do about it.

What am I supposed to say?

“Hey Joshua. I know Susan is super sweet and everything, and that this is technically your apartment, but she has to go because I’m a super bitchy introvert.”

I feel that’s essentially what it boils down to. That my need for space overrides logic and that I should be able to function, sharing space with someone while they do their thing. I feel I ‘should’ be able to enjoy my coffee even if Susan is cooking breakfast for her and Joshua.

But I can’t. It grates on my nerves that my routine is having to change and that I wasn’t consulted about this change, had no say in it what so ever, and that at the moment I haven’t found a suitable alternative.

I came home from holiday break to find her computer set up in ‘my space’ on the kitchen table… not cool bro.

I feel that makes me a small person. That I can’t let go of this and that I’m letting it eat away at me.

I don’t know what to do yet. But something is going to have to change. This is the one place where I’m supposed to be able to recharge. And I cant with the current situation.

Part of me wants to go ahead and move in with Monica.

Susan graduates at the end of the month, so in my head the situation will only get worse. She won’t have class to go to, so she’ll constantly be around. Same with Joshua. They will always be here.

I don’t know if I could make it through two months of no alone time. It hasn’t even been a full month yet and already I’m grating my teeth each morning.

I don’t think it would be so bad, but it’s every day. Every morning. Every evening. People constantly here, out and about. I leave work where I constantly interact with people, to come home… where I now have to constantly interact with people…

I didn’t want this change.

And I feel like all I am doing is whining. There are so many other problems that I could be having right now. I should be grateful that this is my only one. That this one minor thing is the only woo in my life, and that I should just deal with it. Suck it up. It’s not that bad.

I wish, so desperately wish, I could let it go.

Aside from that yesterday was pretty awesome.

I stitched for a bit before going into work. I got to watch the Photoshop tutorials I wanted to and got started on the color assignment. During break I ran to Jo Anne’s Fabrics to get some thread that I needed for my current project.

I needed two colors, but they only had one. Lame… I plan to go to Michael’s this weekend to see if I can get the last color. While I was out I went to Bath and Body works to get a new loofa for my gym bag since I really like the one I got during the holiday break.

Over all it was a really chill evening.

I did have a staff meeting earlier in the day that I had to go to. I was called out for my 3 year anniversary with the school in front of everyone.

Yay….. said no introvert ever.

It honestly wasn’t that bad, but I did come home afterwards to curl up in bed with Scarlet for about 30 minutes. I needed to recover.

But yeah… aside from this ‘no alone time’ thing eating away at my inner peace things are going fine. And really I know it’s an issue only because I haven’t said anything about it.

If only I could figure out what to say without sounding like an unreasonable jerk.

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6 thoughts on “Daily Post 0027: Roommate Angst

  1. Sorry to hear you’re struggling with the housemate situation. I know how hard it is. I hated living with people. I couldn’t bear it. I need my own space too much, and yes like you, I need a lot of space! I found it hard to tell the difference between knowing when it was my issue, my struggle to be with people, and an issue caused by others not being thoughtful and I needed to stand up for myself. Personally, I think not making room for your food in the fridge is an issue you need to address. You have a right to that space. I think you can simply say look, there’s not enough room for my food in the fridge, can we figure out a new system?
    In terms of the morning situation, I hear you. Mornings for an introvert are sacred … and vital! But perhaps you need to compromise there. After all, the kitchen is common area and they do need to make breakfast, even if it is crazy-want-to-punch-someone-in-the-face annoying. Maybe you could clear a space in your room, a little chair by the window or something where you could privately drink your coffee … ?? I don’t know. But do try to keep taking care of yourself and doing the best you can to get that essential alone time.
    Sorry if this was totally not helpful. At the very least, you can safely rant here. I’ll listen (well, read).

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for your reply! You have no idea how much it helped turn my day around. It totally made me smile.

      I honestly think that I need to live alone. That living alone will be the only sure way to have the space I need. The year that I did live alone was the best year I’ve had since moving away from home. But currently that isn’t an option.

      I know the fridge is a legit issue. And I know sharing common areas are going to have to happen. I think the main issue with that is the common area is now Susan’s office area.

      I think I have a plan though.

      My closet is pretty big and empty. I’m thinking about moving my computer desk into there so it puts a bit more distance between me and them. My own little Narina maybe…

      I’m also thinking about moving my protein bars and stuff into my room, instead of keeping them in the pantry. That way I don’t have to worry about not being able to get to my food when Susan is out and about.

      I loved your comment about ‘crazy-want-to-punch-someone-in-the-face’. And like I said, you comment totally helped me out. Thank you so much. : D

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Ally

    I totally understand, although I only have one room mate, rather than two. My extroverted room mate is always wandering around in the kitchen in the morning, talking to me when I’m trying to enjoy a quiet morning. And she’s always moving my stuff, I’ll get home and she’s rearranged everything, including my stuff. I feel that if I say something, I’m going to be seen as the unreasonable one, because I’m the one that isn’t “flexible”. If you figure out a good way to communication with them, please let me know, I just have no idea what to say. Hope things are better for you today 🙂

    Like

    • I’ll keep you posted on how it goes, and if I find a way to diplomatically solve the situation.

      It sucks because things were fine when it was just Joshua and I. I am starting to feel like an outsider though. It feels like ‘their’ apartment now and I’m the one encroaching on their space.

      Maybe that’s me being territorial. I’m still being really introspective about it to see if there are other subconscious reasons for this bothering me.

      I have a few ideas that might work. We’ll see how it goes.

      Thank you so much for taking the time to share and reply to my post. I super appreciate it. : )

      Liked by 1 person

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