Before I get into my day I would like to say that I am devouring my reward right now.
Salmon dinner with sautéed veggies (zucchini, squash, and onion).
It is utterly fantastic, and there are leftovers, so I get to enjoy it twice. A half pound of delectable protein, not in the form of a bar. And a giant side of veggies. With sweet, sweet aqua.
Seriously, right now I can’t think of anything better to be eating.
Oh wait. I’m supposed to be writing about my day… riiiiight….
I started my reading, then had to head in to work, where I finished it off, took the quiz, and completed my discussion post.
We had to find an interesting topic about design or at least being ‘design’ related. I found a post talking about helpful networking tips for design students.
All of the tips were things that I had to learn once I graduated from my first degree, so I felt it was relevant to use as my topic. I stated that I personally felt that business is still run by a handshake, and listed personal experiences to support the articles statements.
It was a pretty good article.
After I finished that I stitched for a little bit while Frank did his demo for the lab.
One of the girls in the SAL lab is super interested in rigging and scripting. Last lab I pointed her to some resources to check out; one of them being the Python track on Codecademy.
Well, in lab today she had an issue with one of the exercises, and I was able to help her through it. She seems to be eating it up, which is fantastic in my book. By the time she gets to my class we’ll be able to melt her brain with way more than what the typical person can take in, and by the time she’s in finals she’ll be set to drop kick the industry in the face with her skills.
This is how it should work. Sadly, that isn’t how it turns out most of the time.
Anyway, towards the end of lab I got a message from Mother Earth and spent the last little bit talking with her. It totally made my day. We joked around about how we both don’t really have motivation to do much of anything. How I still had chores from over the weekend that needed to get done.
I sent her this image because it pretty much summed up how I felt at the time.
I was still tried from the gym, I had homework to still get through, though what I’m on next is a 2 hour long tutorial on Photoshop, so I couldn’t really get started on that… I had to stop by the store, do dishes, plus all of the goals that I have for this month… and the goals from last month that I didn’t really get to finish off…
Begin downward spiral of doom….
At least that’s what it was feeling like.
I think it was good that we got some time to chat and joke around. We covered a variety of topics. Some of which I’m still mulling over.
I hate it when I super want to do something, even though I know it most likely won’t turn out the way I want. Like, I have this ideal situation built up inside my head, and in a perfect world everything would be perfect.
But we live in reality, and reality normally takes our carefully constructed, meticulously maintained plans and sets them on fire before dances on the ashes.
So I’m looking at some of my core values, and holding this situation up against them. What can I live with?
I feel like I’m getting into that realm of ‘vloging’. Vague-blogging. And really I might as well write about what’s on my mind… that is the whole point of this after all.
I’m going to be going home next weekend for my cousin’s wedding. That means I could see James again, if I send him a message.
I should add that we have had no contact at all since I was home over Christmas break.
So… I could message him, and he could say yeah, that he wants to meet up. And then I could be socially awkward and it could feel very unnatural, the total opposite of what it was last time.
Or he could say yeah, and things could be great (which is the perfect situation).
Or he could say no. And be busy or something. Which may be his way of diplomatically turning me down.
Or he could say nothing, in which case I suppose that would be a really big hint.
I don’t see being rude, though there is always that avenue as well.
Physically, emotionally, and I suppose on some level spiritually, I would like to be with him again. It was a very positive experience. And not just because the sex was fantastic.
We talked for hours before hand, and I really enjoyed that part. I enjoyed connecting with someone and sharing stories.
Logically, I feel like I’m going to reach out and then feel burned, which will sort of tarnish the whole reason I’m going home. It’s not about seeing James. It’s about supporting my cousin.
But the right brained, emotional side of me is summed up nicely by this image…
So I still don’t know what I’m going to do. I feel like I should send the text, just so I can say that I tried, and if it doesn’t go anywhere then at least I won’t be left wondering, “What if?”
Enough of that for now… back to summarizing the day…
Aikido didn’t start until 7pm, so I had some time to kill before going to the dojo.
I ran to the store to pick up fresh dill, lemon, scallions, eggs, and almond butter.
Which, if you have never tried almond butter I recommend it. It’s not as sweet as peanut butter, but with honey it’s pretty amazing. It’s also supposed to be healthier or something lame like that.
I didn’t even know almond butter was a thing until about this time last year.
After the store I came home and cooked the salmon and veggies that I had gotten on Sunday.
I was having serious thoughts about not going to the class tonight. I was tired. I had stuff that I should be doing. Part of me didn’t want to be around people…
Really it was just excuses.
So I made my self a deal (read ultimatum). I could have my fantastic fish dinner, if and only if, I went to class.
I had to work for this awesome dinner. I had to earn it.
So that’s what I did.
I packed up my gi, trudged out to my car, and went to class.
I’m so glad I did, though. Sensei Beata was teaching today, so it was my first class with her. I knew three of the students there, and got to practice with all of them. Sensei Jan was there, too.
I really liked this class because we went over some moves that I already knew. It was great going over something familiar. It made me feel good, like I’m learning, and retaining information.
It wasn’t all new stuff that I fumble my way through and only start getting just in time for us to move on to something different.
There is so much to keep in mind, so many different moves, with weird names. Remember to stand up straight, turn with your hips, keep your arms extended, step further backwards, use your momentum, thumb upwards, use your other hand, step closer to your opponent, slide your foot instead of stepping… A never ending list of things to be conscious of.
I love it.
It’s a challenge and I’m drinking it all in as if I’m dying of thirst.
And maybe in a way I was. The dojo is giving me something other than work to be connected to in Orlando. I belong to part of something. Something life related. Not work related.
It is a root taking hold.
So yeah. Fantastic class. Kicked major ass. Completed my second workout for the day. So I totally deserved to come home and have dinner.
I want to get through one of my classwork exercises tonight. I have two of them, but I honestly don’t know what they involve. I’m guessing something to do with color theory… since that’s my class.
But I don’t know if it is feasible to get both of the assignments done before midnight, which is when I would like to be in bed by.
And really, since I want an hour to read and stitch, I only have roughly an hour to work.
I have lab at 9am. Graduation is at 11am. Critiques are at 5pm. There’s yoga at the dojo at 6, but I don’t think critiques will be done by then. Maybe, if not many people show up, but I would rather not hope for that. I like it when there are so many people that critiques take an hour or two.
There’s an open mat at 7pm, which is basically just showing up and practicing what you want to for your tests. Normally you have a partner, but Sensei Jan said that you can show up and get extra help from the instructors, too, and that they can show you more things.
I might go to that, or I could go to the gym and do cardio + sauna.
Not sure. The big, big thing tomorrow is graduation, followed by critiques. If I survive those two things I’ll be good.
But yeah, that’s about it for today. It ended up being really good, even if it got off to a sluggish start.