Long catch up post incoming.
I’ve actually started writing this post something like four times now. Things have been up and down and that’s made it hard to feel motivated to write, and when I am motivated, of course I’m no where near my computer to actually be able to do anything.
So I’m just going to run through everything, and if I happen to wonder onto a tangent, my bad.
Friday – New Glasses
The eye appointment was actually pretty awesome. I got there on time; early in fact. The technician I had was super friendly. He talked me through all of the tests, and we were even able to discuss my work a bit since one of his previous partners worked at the school. He was in audio, then video, and then creative writing, but it was still cool to talk to someone about the ins and outs, and some of my woes, and have them understand. Someone other than a co-worker, that is.
The doctor was super nice as well. She and I were able to have a pretty in-depth conversation about how 3D movies work. She was also super complimentary about my eyes and how blue they are. She mentioned a few things about my eyes specifically, like how they were most likely super sensitive to light, which they are.
It was awesome that she didn’t dumb down her answers to my questions, too.
I even had an awesome associate who helped me pick out glasses.
Associate: “What are you looking for?”
Me: “Um… yes…”
I’m that type of customer when it comes to things like this. I don’t know what I want… Glasses? That help me see? Nothing super shiny or flashy? Nothing Lady Gaga would be proud of?
I ended up getting a nice (personal opinion) half rim frame. It’s sort of sporty looking, fits snuggly so I don’t have to worry about them falling off during yoga and running. I also got transition lenses this time so I don’t have to worry about forgetting my clip ons sunglasses anymore.
Overall a super awesome experience.
At the cost of $170. ;-;
More than I wanted to spend. But that’s less than half of what the frames alone would have cost. Plus I got transitions, and polarized [some-sort-of-fancy-term-for-expensive-stuff] for free, and the exam was completely covered. So in the scheme of things roughly $200 was pretty f’ing amazing.
I’m having a hard time aligning myself with the missing money, though. When I look at my account I feel like a failure because I was supposed to have all of this extra money for the tattoos, but I’m down $300, partly for the glasses, and the other for covering Zane’s rent. I’m supposed to have something, and I don’t, so automatically I am irresponsible…
But I’m not though. New glasses are a good thing. I’ve wanted them for two years now. But my money status is different than what I was expecting and I’m having a hard time with that difference for some reason, even though it was an adult and responsible choice.
I think I need to spend more time meditating on this. I think there is something deeper that I’m glossing over.
Anywho, Mission: Eagle Eyes was a success. My prescription went up slightly, but the doctor said it was a normal jump and that there wasn’t any cause for concern.
I ended up going to my sports bar, since it was Friday, but the appointment took longer than I was expecting. Most likely due to me sitting there for 20 minutes being unable to decide between three frames.
I was able to order lunch, reply to a few emails, eat, then head to school. Not really rushed, but not the two hours I normally chillax either. Still left a 50% tip for my server because she was awesome.
I got a chance to talk to Clavan finally. I was trying to cancel the days I requested for vacation since I’m not going to be going anywhere. I thought about taking a trip home, but mom is going to come down and visit me instead. That’s actually pretty nice. I’m a little tired of the only time I see people is when I travel to them. Selfish, I know. But I can’t deny that there is a part of me who’s happy that I get to stay at home this time and not spend 12 hours of my vacation in a car.
So yeah, I was trying to cancel the requested time off so I can save it for the holidays. That wasn’t working the way it should have though, so I emailed Clavan and he came over to the lab. We talked about it and I showed me my employee screen. Yep, something’s wrong with it. He’ll look into it for me.
While he was in the lab we stepped outside into the hall to talk about my request for helping out in the Finals Department rather than the Shading and Lighting class. I guess that move is a no go. With all of the changes being made to the cirrucilum, that class is being phased out. At best I would be there for about 11 months, and then I would be left with nothing.
I asked how the students are doing their branding for their websites and demo reels without the class, but Clavan wasn’t sure. He said he was going to keep looking into it, and that he understood that I want to shift my focus towards something that would be using my new degree.
I guess that means for the moment I’m still in Shading and Lighting. And for the moment it’s not too bad. This month has been going fairly smoothly. No sign of burn out yet. Still stuck playing the waiting game, so instead of focusing on it, I’ll try to put my energy into something useful.
I did get more information about the whole ‘Project Blue Sky’ thing, but it’s still nothing that I can really talk about, since I’m not supposed to technically know about it. Yay for having an awesome boss who trusts me.
Now to type all of those deep, dark secrets out into a blog that I post online. : D
Not really. The information is interesting though. I’m still anxious about it, and the only things I can do are either wait and see what happens, or call it quites and leave. Since I’m aiming to finish my degree, for the moment I’ll stay and see what happens I guess.
Trust me as I am allowed to
bitch talk about stuff, I will, I’m sure.
I ended up sketching a bit while I was in lab. That was fun and a great outlet that I haven’t been using. I came home after work and that’s where the down swing started.
Zane was called out of work again. So he was emo, which I fed off of, which he fed off of… I ended up going to bed early because I was tired of feeling disconnected and alone and having no real way of fixing it.
Saturday – Surprise Birthday
I woke up Saturday still feeling lame. I cleaned the kitchen, did laundry, took out the trash, lazed around for a while trying to be introspective and figure out why I was being bothered so much.
Eventually Zane woke up. Called out of work again…
We has a serious talk where he said he was basically unemployed at this point. I agreed. I mentioned how it was hard to be supportive because I felt he could be spending his time better, but how I also know it’s easy to criticize someone when you’re on the outside of a situation. He apologized for the night before. He said that yes it’s a bad situation, but he literally did nothing yesterday except stay in bed, and that wasn’t going to fix anything.
He ended up job searching and found several that are promising.
I’m wising him the best of luck. There’s one specifically that would be fantastic if he got it. $13 an hour for a call center job for a health insurance company. I guess it is very similar to a job he had before. Another thing where we’re playing the waiting game.
We ended up cooking lunch together, which was nice. Both of us in the kitchen being playful. We watched a few more episodes of No Game No Life. We talked a bit more afterwards, so there was a lot of bonding, at least in my perspective.
We ended up going out to Moe’s for dinner where there was more talking. Lots of talking on Saturday. It was awesome.
Saturday was also Trevor’s birthday. That was something Zane mentioned earlier in the morning, so I wasn’t at all prepared for a social event later than night. I ended up hiding in the room for most of it. A small group chatting or watching something would have been ok, partying and playing Guitar Hero was a bit too much for me.
I ended up going to sleep on an upswing though, which was nice.
Sunday – Anti-Game Day
Sunday was pretty awesome. I finally, finally, went to a yoga class. My legs are thanking me so much right now it’s not even funny.
It was the first yoga class I have been to at the new gym. The instructor was nice, and the atmosphere was warm and inviting. I like her sense of humor and there were several instances where the class was laughing.
I remembered to bring a towel with me, so I was able to shower and get dressed at the gym. Afterwards I went to school to work on homework.
Originally I had planned to work upstairs in my little spot in the corner, but there was some sort of alarm going off. I think one of the battery packs for a computer died or something. Whatever it was, it was loud, and annoying, and I didn’t know how to fix it, so I went back downstairs to the break room to set up shop.
I got through all of my emails, personal and work related, responded to messages, and finally got to work on my composition. I made really awesome progress, and overall I’m happy with the concept. That is, I’ll be happy with it once I beat the leaf design into submission… The curves aren’t as smooth as I want them to be.
I ate a Luma bar and had a can of Brisk tea while I was at school, but before too long I was hungry and thirsty again. I had already had an extra bottle of water, and there was nothing good in the vending machine. I was also at a good stopping point on the project, so I figured it was time to pack up and head home. Roughly four hours of work time. Not bad, and if I had had more food with me I would have stayed longer.
When I came home I made lunch and watched an episode of No Game No Life, which left one episode in the series. Zane and I chatted for a bit before watching the finale.
How is there not another season for this show?!? My life is incomplete. This may seriously be the first show where I break down and read the manga. There has to be more to the story. They can’t end it like that. They can’t!
I super loved the art style and the storyline. Very, very well done in my opinion. It really is one of the best shows I’ve seen. I highly recommend it if you’re into anima.
Zane and I chatted for a while after the show. He had mentioned wanting to do more Asian style dishes for dinner so while I was at work I checked out Allrecipes.com and found a few that I thought sounded good.
We talked about them. Made our shopping list for the week, then headed out to the grocery store.
On the way home is when I started having my financial breakdown.
I’m We’re over budget on food, which really isn’t a big deal in the scheme of things. But between the glasses, the food bill, the rent money, and the $50ish that I’ve spent on myself, I was feeling like a failure.
Zane and I talked through it. He asked what he could do to help. I responded with, just let me be sad for a little bit. I need time to get over it and to shift perspective. Logically I’m fine, we’re fine, there’s no reason for this. It’s a purely emotional response that I need to let have its time. There’s nothing you can do to fix it other than be understanding that this is temporary.
We talked about how he felt bad because he was part of the reason I was stressing out. How if he was making more he would be able to help with groceries, he would have been able to cover his rent, etc.
We talked about my credit card payment and how my plan for killing it with fire is going.
I feel like the best way to describe this past weekend is, “We talked.”
He knows where I am at. That I understand his situation, but I also have negative history, and that he’s following those negative trends that I’m sensitive to. He’s looking for a new job, and stepping up his game.
More waiting game. Blarg.
I felt a lot better after the conversation in the car though. Crazy insane amounts better. Maybe I just needed to have a minor breakdown.
We ended up putting the food away. I made the summer salad that we’ll be having for lunches this week, and I cooked a dinner of garlic chicken, rice, with green beans and tomatoes. It was a really nice meal, which I had in the room alone while Zane, Trevor, and Danielle played Muchkin. Social time was a no go once again for me. It was awesome not to be given a hard time for it.
So I guess it’s a good thing that our Pathfinder game is on hiatus right now. It wouldn’t have been fun for me if I had to sit and roleplay a character when all I wanted to do was hide under a rock.
I ended up going to sleep fairly early since I had to be awake for my doctor’s appointment. I’ll save that for my next post though.
Over all I think the weekend was good. I didn’t get to play Witcher 3 at all. But things were productive. I’ve started pre-making meals, so hopefully the week isn’t as crazy in that department. And there are still open lines of communication between Zane and I.
Today’s the start of a new week. So far it’s off to a good start, but then it’s hard to have a bad morning when you’re enjoying a cup of coffee.