Musing Moment 0057: The ‘N’ Word

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Days 14 and 15. The halfway mark. Tomorrow we remake our goal list, which I’m actually looking forward to for once.

But for today it’s about understanding how a to-do list is supposed to function. It’s not enough to just write stuff down. Understanding what the most important, most immediate task is, and then actually doing it, is where the magic really happens.

It’s understanding what actions would have the most payoff.

I’ve gotten pretty good at doing that, and I like to think that’s why I’m able to blow through so many tasks when I actually get a chance to sit down and do things, unlike last night…

The topic of saying the ‘N’ word comes up on day 15. That evil little guy that everyone hates hearing.

No.

Yep. I typed it. No.

No. No. No. No. No.

I’ve gotten good at turning down requests and NOT feeling guilty about it. I’ve learned to respect my time, and my own sense of inner peace and my own goals and priorities.

I can’t say yes to everyone. In fact, most of the time I don’t want to. I know that makes me sound heartless to some. I should be giving and caring and help other people succeed, and all of this other feel good stuff.

But being blatantly honest, I have my own stuff going on. I’m working on making myself better. If your request lines up with something that I want to do, than yeah, sure, maybe. As long as I have the time for everything else I need to do.

I’m done with bending backwards to the point that it feels like I’m breaking for people, because there are so few people who will return the favor for me.

I am a bit kinder than just flat out saying no. I say that I need to look over my schedule and double check that I’ll be able to do such-and-such. That gives me time to actually think it over, because sometimes the person just catches me at a bad time.

Person: “Hey I know you just got done working 12 hours, and that you’ve been bombarded with questions for that entire time, but would you mind putting in even more time helping to this really cool thing that I really have no idea how to do?” : D

Me: Um… no. Go die in a fire. K. Thanks. Bye. /hides under a rock

A very extreme exaggeration. But you get the point. Sometimes I just need a little breathing room to actually think through something before making a decision. Saying that I need to check my schedule first gives me that time. I make a reminder on my to-do list and when I feel up to it, I made a decision.

I’m not obligated to anything, and the other person isn’t left with expectations. It’s still up in the air. This gives me the added advantage of being able to send a text message or an email, rather than having to have the ‘no’ conversation in person, which can be awkward for everyone involved.

Overall, I think I’ve got a handle on my to-do list and my need to make everyone happy. I need to make myself happy first. Then I can look at helping out other people.

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4 thoughts on “Musing Moment 0057: The ‘N’ Word

    • I’m glad you could find the humor in it. I’m always worried when I type jokes along those lines that people will think I’m serious and I’ll have FBI and SWAT repelling down the ceilings as soon as I hit “post”. XD

      If I fall off of the blogging sphere at least we’ll know why. : )

      Liked by 1 person

      • That’s definitely something that would cross my mind if asked to do something I really didn’t want to haha. But of course, I’d never voice it out loud 🙂

        Like

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