It’s later than what I want, but in the scheme of things today isn’t any different from the previous mornings I’ve woken up on. It’s 10:30. I’ve cleaned the kitchen already of last nights dishes. The stove top needs to be scrubbed but at the moment I’m too tired of cleaning up after other people to bring myself to do it. Maybe later.
I wasn’t able to fall asleep until around 3 am when I came out to the living room. And even then I think I was awake for about another hour or so. I couldn’t sleep. It was annoying, and I still woke up at 9am.
I didn’t do much yesterday. That seems to be the mantra of my blog. I went to work. I made small talk with a few of the people I saw in the hall, and was proud of myself for being able to maintain myself. I listened to my Spotify list and cross stitched after wasting part of my life on Facebook.
There was a department meeting yesterday, but since Frank and I were running lab, we had to pick only one of us to go. Frank ended up being the sacrificial offering since I went to the meeting last month.
Frank had asked if I wanted to be there, since I used to champion going to the meetings. But this time was different. I said that I honestly didn’t care. They never have information that justifies the lab staff being present. It’s a waste of time, and right now, with how disenchanted I am with the system, I would rather stab my eyes out, or set the conference room on fire in a brilliant display of how useless the room actually is, rather than sit through another pointless, useless meeting where the suggestions and ideas that could help make the environment better get shot down.
Next month the new changes to the curriculum are supposed to hit Shading and Lighting. I wonder how that will go. It’s still about six months to go before it affects my class. I don’t know what will be happening to Seth and David. And I still don’t know how it is actually being incorporated into the second half of the program because no one tells us anything. They just assume that some how we’ll figure it out.
I may be irrationally frustrated with work at the moment… my bad.
I got further with my cross stitch and with Dragonflight, but I wasn’t able to finish either before work was done.
I saw Eileen, the course director for Character Animation, while I was leaving. We chatted for a bit, and it was actually genuine conversation. It made me feel a bit better. We talked about the changes to the program and my Digital Arts and Design degree. She, herself, is interested in taking classes and was glad to have had the chance to talk to me about it since I gave her honest feedback about the workloads.
I cross stitched a bit more when I got home while listening more to my book, and actually got the project finished. I’ll try to have the motivation to scan both of my finished pieces on Friday when I’m near a scanner.
I’ve already picked out and started a new one. I like this one. I think it will be good to work on it. Zane cooked dinner while I hung out in the kitchen chatting with him. We ate dinner then watched a few episodes of Psycho-Pass. We ended up having a spat, which might have led to my inability to sleep.
I work at 9pm tonight. I’m hoping I can nap at some point today.
Zane had an email saying the only thing they are waiting on is the background check to clear. That may be later today or tomorrow.
The thought of having to go into work makes me feel defeated before the day even begins. At least I don’t have to work this Saturday. I keep forgetting that. I wish that made a difference, but it doesn’t.
Zane asked what I wanted to do today. I asked if it would be bad if I wanted to be introverted and anti-social. His answer was that wasn’t bad at all. We could totally be introverted and anti-social together.
Yes… but can I do those things alone?
I feel like the mood killer right now. A large part of me misses having my own room at the moment. A door that I could close. A small space that was purely my own that no one else was allowed into.
Right now it’s not so bad. I’m in the living room. Zane is still asleep. I think Trevor is as well. John has already left for work, so really it’s just me and that cats, chillin’. My coffee is getting cold in front of me. It’s the hazel nut creamer this morning. I’ve decided that I’ll finish it. I don’t want it to be wasted and no one else drinks coffee here. Because they’re aliens.
Nothing else really to say. I haven’t been going to the gym. I haven’t been completing the challenge since I gave up on it last week. I haven’t been making my origami cranes or caring about what I eat.
Just another day where I wake up and feel accomplished for the fact that I keep going.