I, Ms. Responsible, am playing hookie today.
Yep. That’s right. I’m being a rebellious badass and using one of my hard earned vacation days to stay home and do…
Ok… so I haven’t really gotten around to figuring out what I’m going to be doing today. That is, I haven’t figured out what I will be doing aside from completely, utterly, full heartedly enjoying an almost empty apartment with literally no obligations aside from doing whatever I want.
I guess it seems odd. Didn’t I have two full days off? Shouldn’t that have been enough? Didn’t I get the recharge I needed then? Didn’t I write about how good those days were?
Yes. They were awesome. And it’s not really that I need more time alone. It’s more that I want another day, I can take another day, so I’m going to.
I was all ready to get out of bed and to cook breakfast this morning. I was planning on how the day was going to go down, and what need to get taken care of, and what all I needed to put on the to-do list when Zane wrapped his arms around me, snuggling close and started saying that I should stay home with him.
I do not need outside influence to make me not want to go to work, thanks…
We teased each other jokingly before we actually did get up to start the day. While he was cooking breakfast though he mentioned me staying home again, only this time it wasn’t really a joke.
“When was the last time you used a vacation day?”
I actually had to stop and think about it. I think it was when I went to my cousin’s wedding in February. Maybe I took a day when I was doing all of my medical stuff a few months back, but that’s not really a day off, which might be why I don’t remember it if I did use one of my days. That would be a sick day anyway, not a vacation day as far as my time off from work goes. It’s a different pool that my time would be pulled from.
So… Yeah. It’s been a while. And not taking that into consideration I have been working six days a week for the most part for, what? A year now? Maybe longer? I honestly don’t know. Something that was supposed to be temporary sure seems like a new expectation for my job…
Can we go back to where I said that I do not need help on the whole “I don’t want to go to work” thing? I really don’t need hard, logical facts supporting why it would be mentally healthy for me to skip out…
But… this weekend did end up being pretty social. So many people were over on Saturday, and then Sunday was the game… What’s wrong with taking one day when everyone is at work to enjoy some solitude…
Friday evening was great, so was Saturday. And Sunday I was able to get all of my homework done and submitted. Zane and I even went out and enjoyed lunch together one last time before we go back to being diligent, responsible adults who don’t use the extra budget money to skimp out on cooking.
We went to Wendy’s where we sat side by side. Normally I sit across from the person I’m with. I don’t know why. Habit? It seems to be a culture norm that I never questioned before. But Zane patted the spot next to him before I sat down, so yeah, we sat together and playfully pushed against each other’s shoulders from time to time.
I told him about the person messaging me on OkCupid and a bit about the conversation we were having about divorces and our experiences with them growing up. That led to talking about the online dating scene in general and how online dating is a “girls market”. It’s always fascinating to hear the other side of the experience. What it’s like to be a guy on those types of sites. I guess there are some real bitchy people out there.
On the flip side, most of the guys who message me need to get beaten to death with a dictionary. Personal opinion.
Talking to me “lyk dis” is an instant sentence to my “nope” list. I guess a lot of that has to do with the fact that I’m not really looking to date anyone or to hook up (which I actually used the hookup culture as the topic for my first assignment this month in my class. Totally fascinating stuff).
Honestly I’m not looking for anything, which I guess plays into the “girls market” and how I only talk to people who message me first, and even then I only keep the conversation going if it seems interesting to me. I hardly ever meet any of the people I chat with. It’s more just a mild curiosity for me.
So far the person I’m talking with is light years ahead of most of the messages I get, but that doesn’t mean it will go anywhere, and we’ve both already acknowledged that. Which makes him one of the few people that I might actually end up meeting in real life. Like Patrick a few months earlier.
There wasn’t pressure or obligation. It was just chatting with a “hey, you’re pretty cool, if one day you ever wanted to meet, I would totally be down for coffee,” rather than the “Nice profile picture, want to fuck?” that I constantly get.
Um… no… Pardon me while I go seethe in frustrated rage because I would like to feel like a person rather than a gender.
And then having the meeting actually just be meeting for coffee and talking about the difference in culture between Britain, where Patrick is from, and the United States, and my opinion on gun laws, and how we’re both fairing in our classes. You know… normal conversation not laced with sexual innuendos or blatant efforts to make it more than just friendly conversation because that’s what we both agreed to before hand.
I feel like am tangenting…
So yeah, interesting conversation with an online dude so far because it’s actually a thoughtful, thought provoking conversation. Good conversation with Zane about it. So everyone knows about everyone, and all is right in that area of Jen Land.
We came back home where I finished off my homework just in time for the game.
I really enjoyed last night’s session. There was a lot of role play and I actually am starting to get a true feel for my character.
I may, possibly be infected with some sort of disease which could, maybe, in the next 24 hours turn my character into a wererat type thingy. Zane’s character may be infected, too… We think we know what the cure is, but at the moment we only have one vial of the supposed antidote, and we don’t even know if we’re actually infected. Symptoms won’t start showing for a few more hours. There’s also a chance that the antidote could be one of the other vials we found in the alchemist’s lab… but we’re pretty sure that it’s supposed to be the one labeled “number 5”…
And that’s were the game left off. I killed two of the enemy wererats, but that was after the leader tried to attack Zane’s character. Zane shot the leader in the heart with one of his revolvers leaving a giant hole in the guys chest. I don’t think he’ll be recovering from that.
My character was trying to maintain diplomacy by subduing one of the rats which was trying to escape. We wanted answers to figure out if it was a curse affecting the rats and if they were actually behind the deaths in the town, and you can’t really get answers when everyone / thing is dead. But when I asked if he had killed anyone his response was, “Yes! Millions! And I will kill millions more!”
…. So… my character slit his throat with her karambit and stored his soul in the necklace of dragon-cat teeth that she wears. It’s sort of involved, but essentially my character is a blood bender and doesn’t agree with wasting life forces. Death is fine, and part of the cycle of things, but if you’re going to kill you shouldn’t waste the life.
There was another enemy that Zane’s character was having a hard time hitting, so I used magic to increase the pulse of the rat’s heart to the point that it burst. I took that soul, too.
I may be infected because the first rat I was restraining bit my wrist when he tried to get away from me. It’s more like a paper cut, but we don’t know how the disease is transferred, so right now we’re waiting to see if either of us manifest signs of the infection, like having a craving for cheese or a super twitchy nose.
It was a super fun game, and I’m glad for it.
I ended up going to sleep shortly after we called it a wrap. Zane stayed up hanging out with Bobby and Trevor. He came to bed at some point. I don’t know when.
And here was are at today. The thought of it being a day off is seriously one of the most appealing concepts I have had in a while.
I have already had breakfast, coffee, and checked my email. I’ve looked at my school stuff. I will most likely try to get through all of the weekly material and complete the discussion post, which will leave only the main assignment, which is due on Sunday.
I want to put the cloths away, finally, because I still haven’t done that. I have already cut up all of the veggies needed for dinner and lunch today. I want to go to the gym, which will be the first time in a week, most likely longer. I’m not expecting to do all that awesome, but I want to go regardless. I have already asked Zane if we can print out a new cross stitch pattern for me so I can keep plucking away at my master plan. He said yes. I want to vacuum the room, and maybe do a full on clean in the kitchen, wash the cabinet doors and everything.
I feel like I have energy and drive right now, and I’m wondering if I’m trying / wanting to do too much, or if I will end up trying to do too much… that would be in line with my personality…
Zane and I want to finish watching Psycho-Pass as well, so maybe that can happen in-between school stuff and cleaning. Cleaning the bathroom would be awesome too…
Yes. All of the things.
Something else I have been thinking about… I might go to Goodwill. I don’t know if I want to do that today, or on a different day. But there is a box of things we want to donate sitting in the living room. It has been for a while.
And I think that I will give myself $20 to find new pants and such. I’ve been waiting to buy new cloths because I wanted to lose more weight before I did it. Since I haven’t been making my health goals a priority these past few months I haven’t really lost anything. In fact, I feel like I’m gaining, which sort of sucks, but I have no one to blame for that but myself.
That being said, the pants that I have right now are ones that I’ve had since high school, so like… 5 years. A few of them have holes forming around the pockets and are getting pretty thread bare.
Part of my brain doesn’t want to buy cloths without being super skinny because that was the whole point of waiting to get new stuff. Another part of my brain knows that I don’t feel good about myself in the things that I currently have, at least the pants that I have. I love my shirts.
So I’m thinking, if I try to be thrifty about it, I could still get some nice stuff without dipping into anything extra. This would be part of the play money that I actually haven’t touched this month. So I have $50, well… $40 since I got the cross stitch stuff the other day. My bad, I did use a little bit of it.
But I don’t want a ton of stuff. I don’t need that much. Just three or four pairs of pants, maybe a skirt… even though that’s something girly and stuff… /blushes and shifts around all uncomfortable and bashful
Not that I want to be girly or anything… Warriors don’t do girly… Or dainty…
I’m a ferocious dragon, damnit. Rawr!
So… anyway… That will most likely happen. I just don’t know when. I think “new” things will help. I really do feel like I’m back on track with a lot of things at the moment. Momentum is picking back up, and I would rather not have something as silly as worn out pants be the reason I start feeling bad again.
I guess the only way to figure out what I’m doing is to shower and then actually do stuff, so with that I leave the Internet, resisting the urge to waste half of my day scrolling through Facefail.