This was supposed to be posted last night, but I ran out of steam once I finished writing and went to sleep instead. : D
Day one of vacation.
It actually didn’t really start until 1ish in the afternoon because I slept like crap last night. Zane had work in the morning and we both couldn’t seem to get to sleep, or stay asleep once either of us was able to get there.
I ended up on the couch again, hoping that if we were apart we wouldn’t keep each other up with our tossing and turning. I don’t think it worked very well. Zane seemed to be fairly alright, though. He left a little early so he could get a donut for breakfast and I went back to the room and made sure the bed didn’t go anywhere for the next six-ish hours.
Once I woke up again I felt like the bed was subdued enough that it didn’t need supervision anymore. I got up, unloaded the dishwasher and reloaded it since the kitchen was a mess, which the weekend is a whole story in itself that I might tangent onto at different points but anyway, back to today.
I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to do. I have homework that I need to work on, but I didn’t want to spend my first day of alone time bingeing on it. I decided that the best thing to do would be to go through my notebook, figure out what needed to get done, what I wanted to get done, and what recreational things I wanted to indulge in. That way I could start making a game plan for my week.
So I have a pretty decent list to pick away at over the next few days.
Today ended up being productive and relaxing. I started by filling out the application for the apartment so I can get on the lease, and more importantly, get a parking decal for my car. That took a bit of time because I had to get all of the information together, but all in all it was a painless process, and more time consuming than anything.
I need to call the office to see if they waive the fee for students, but other than that the application is ready to hand in. If they don’t waive the fee then I’ll need to get a money order either tomorrow or Wednesday.
I sent an email to my Faculty Affairs rep to figure out how my classes will count towards my Continuing Education hours so I can prove that I actually do deserve my raise in January, even though I’ve been a total slacker at work for the past four-ish months. Clavan wants me to get prepared for my review even though it is still a few months away. That’s ok. I don’t mind being prepared early.
I actually disabled my OkCupid profile because I’m tired of talking to people. I don’t want to meet anyone. I want to go back to focusing on me mainly, so it seemed like the right thing to do. I can’t focus on me if I have to keep having to put energy into convincing people that “looking for friends” really does mean that I’m just looking for friends and not code for “Netfix and chill”, which I guess is code for sex…
Seriously? What does, “I want sex,” mean then? I hate your guts, so stop messaging me or I’ll beat you to death with a dictionary?
Anyway, after taking care of that I spent a bit of time doing some research. I have several cross stitch patterns than I’m going to be sending out to people and I want to make sure that they are in the best condition possible. That means I want to wash them, but I’ve honestly never really washed a cross stitch with anything other than water and some soap, so I wanted to see if there was a “better” way.
I found out that you can use OxiClean. So I set up a gallon pitcher with some warm water, put two scoops for OxiClean in it, then added three of my projects. I have to fix something with the fourth one before I wash it. With that done, I set the pitcher aside so the pieces could soak for most of the day.
I then went back to researching how to clean kitchen walls. The apartment that I’m in right now has been renewed by Trevor and John for three years. That’s three years of dude-bros not cleaning very much. Needless to say the walls around the stove are pretty awful, at least that’s my personal opinion, which is the only opinion that I care about.
The Internet, all knowing as it is, says that using white vinegar can help get ride of grease stains and such. I will write about that undertaking tomorrow, since that’s when I plan to execute that battle plan.
From there I washed the upper cabinets in the kitchen. Ever since I washed the lower cabinets it has been glaringly obvious that the upper ones did not get the same love and attention. No longer. Everything is super white and clean. Huzzah.
I went through my “in” pile. Bunch of junk. I also went through my “box of memories”. It’s the box that I packed all of the stuff that goes on my corkboard, which hangs above my computer monitors. Every letter my mom has sent me since I moved to Florida is in there. Every ID badge from work and school. A few pictures. A Christmas gift that I got from a friend in high school. Fortune cookie papers…
Little random things that I want to hold on to because I think they’re important on an emotional level.
I actually threw some stuff out, no longer needing to hold on to it. I spent a lot of time going through and reading every card though. I cried. A lot. But it was good crying. I really feel like if I had had these cards up on the wall this whole time that I wouldn’t have been as sad as I was. A lot of the messages are just quick notes from my mom saying she love me “big bunches”. But there’s a lot of cards where she tells me that I’m doing well, and she’s proud of me, and that even though things are rough (because college was really rough) that I was doing great and to keep my chin up.
There was so much love and support in every card and going through and rereading them reminded me of just how lucky I am to have my mom. I felt safe and cared for, and it made me really happy to have those cards to look back on. To hold in my hands and remember that, yes, I am loved, and no, I’m not alone. It was a cry that needed to happen and I feel cleaner and lighter for it.
I was just starting to hang the cards around my corkboard when Zane got home. He had a bag of donut holes with him, which he said were for me. I did break down and have a few…
We cuddled for a little while as he told me about his day and I told him about mine. It was awesome being able to talk about things rather than, “I didn’t do much,” which is normally his side. And my side if I give an unbiased answer. Lately I’ve been mostly in a “Wake up, go to work, come home” routine.
It makes a conversation hard because there really isn’t much to talk about. Neither of us have done anything worth talking about. We breathed… wooo…
I said that I wanted to go running, either at the Y or on one of the bike trails. He had a list of things he wanted to do, so we agreed we would spend time together once I got back from running, and from going to the store, which was something else I wanted to do.
The final step in the cross stitching endeavor is to iron them, but we don’t have an iron, and even though I’ve owned three I keep getting ride of mine because I move into places that already have one, and I find it silly to have multiple things collecting dust.
Well, since I don’t have an iron at the moment, and no one else in the apartment does, that means I have to go out and get another one… again… Arg. I also wanted to get a small ironing board to go with it. But the trip out wasn’t all that bad of an idea. I needed to get vinegar for tomorrow’s cleaning crusade. I could get burger and cheese slices while I was out so I could do that for lunches this week, along with dish scrubs since there aren’t any more. I could also get ice cream while I was out. Which, yes, that is another story, from this weekend, which I may or may not feel like writing about once I finally get through writing about today… I didn’t really think there was this much inside of my brain but I guess there is.
So yeah, going to the store seemed like a good idea. I even thought about checking out body pillows while I was out because I’ve wanted one since having to throw mine away when I moved out of Joshua’s place. That was back in March. It seems like forever ago.
I changed into running stuff and headed out, deciding on the way that I would run the bike trail. I’m not ready to go back to the Y just yet. I’m not ready for people. I wanted to be outside, on my own, doing my own thing. So that’s what I did. I parked in the parking lot at the baseball fields, locked the car, set up my music and RunKeeper, then set out to lose myself. I did 1 minute intervals at an average 19 minute pace. Not my best, not my worst. I’ll take it.
I came back to the apartment afterwards feeling amped. Zane and I chatted for a bit before I got into the shower then went to the store. That took longer than I wanted it to with about a third of my time being spent standing in line. It wasn’t cool but very typical of Walmart.
I talked to my mom on the way to the store which was great. It was nice having something to talk to her about other than, “I’m depressed. I know life doesn’t suck… but life sucks and woe is me.”
I let her know how things were going, and all of the stuff that I was poking around at. I told her about Zane’s day and reading all of the cards she’s sent me. She wasn’t in that much of a chatty mood, so it was only a 15 minute call, but I feel good that it hadn’t been two weeks since our last conversation. I’m glad that I actually wanted to talk to her, rather than trying to avoid her so she wouldn’t have to worry about me, even though I know by avoiding her I’m causing her to worry….
Some times there really is just no way you can win. /sigh
I didn’t get a body pillow from Walmart. Mostly because they only had two and they both were pretty lame. That’s ok though. Another time, from a better store. I did find an iron that I liked. It’s the same type that Joshua had while I lived with him. There wasn’t a mini ironing board, but there were ironing mats so I got a green one because colors do things to my brain. :3
I hadn’t used an ironing mat before so I wasn’t sure if I would like it or not. I figured it was worth a shot, and in reality I didn’t have much of a choice unless I wanted to get a full sized ironing board, which I didn’t.
I got all of the other items on my list and even looked at highlighters since I use those to mark my patterns while I cross stitch. I put them back though because it would have been an impulse buy, and because, like the body pillows, they weren’t really want I wanted. I’ll go to Staples or Office Max when I actually need to get new ones. Which I don’t “need” new ones right now anyway. I have two that work just fine… even if they’re lame and not the colors I want to be using… I want a green one. I don’t know why I seem to be on a green kick at the moment.
Green is the color of the heart chakra though… so that’s some food for thought.
Once I got back from the store I showed Zane my loot then went about rinsing off the cross stitchings. They looked awesome. I put down the ironing mat on the kitchen table, unpacked the iron, and tested everything out.
Total success. I love the mat and the iron is everything that I remember. For only $10. It’s fantastic.
Slight tangent. Not that I put much stock in zodiac signs and such, but even going a step beyond that into the MBTI personality types, I’m often thought to have “expensive tastes”, when really I don’t think I do. I thrift shop, and I use coupons (even on dates), and I look around for deals. That doesn’t mean I’m ok with spending money on the cheapest option just because it’s cheap. I’ll get something cheap if I know it will do everything that I need it to do, if it will live up to my expectations and be a good investment.
Like the iron. I could have gotten an iron for $40, but why would I spend that much money when I know the one for a forth of the price will be more than enough for what I need? It’s not about expensive; it’s about function and quality. And for $10 I can now take care of something that is actually a fairly large part of my hobby, and Zane can iron his work shirts and slacks rather than having wrinkled stuff.
That being said, I would really be ok with not having to go out and buy a forth f’ing iron any time soon. Like… in the next forever…
After I was done
playing with ironing my cross stitchings Zane and I watched an episode of Arrow, which is something we started watching together. More accurately, it’s something that we’ve been binge watching since Saturday. We’re almost through season two already. Another story from the weekend. I really should make a separate post for that, which I think I will.
One of the things Zane and I talked about before I went to the store was transportation for next week. Currently he is using the car since I’m just chilling at home, being a slacker and stuff. But next week I’m going to have to go back to work (booooooo!) and that’s going to make things tricky what with wanting to get to the gym as well.
We figured it would be easier for him to drop me off and pick me up, rather than me driving to his work, back to mine, then back to his through rush hour, just for us to come all the way back home. At least with dropping me off we minimize how much gas we would be using. He’s already agreed to pay for whatever gas we use over my budgeted amount, which makes me feel way better about all of the driving.
The only down side to this plan is I don’t really have a way to get to the gym before work, and after work would be annoying because I would already be home and have to go back out again. First world problems, but it’s annoying, and if there’s resistance than it’s most likely not going to happen. The only sucky thing about being dropped off at the gym first is that it would be about an hour walk to work from there.
So we sat and brainstormed about it. If I had a bike, it wouldn’t be so bad to drop me off at the gym with the bike, let me workout, then do the 15 minute bike ride to school. I could leave my gym bag at the gym so I wouldn’t have to carry so much on the bike, and we could swing by at the end of the day to pick it up on our way home.
Poof. Everyone is happy. Zane gets to work on time, I get a good workout in and extra time at work to take care of school stuff, ideally I get to work on time… It just seems like an awesome plan.
I don’t have a bike because the one I had was stolen when I lived with Randy, Mother Earth, and Josh. Much lame…
/gives brain hamster an energy drink
Needing the bike got me thinking… Frank keeps mentioning that he’s trying to sell the old bikes he and Natalie have because they want new ones. I sent him a text asking if he still had one for sale, which he does.
Could I check it out at some point this week?
Yep. Wednesday, around 6:30.
Oh. And btw, I am supposed to consider it an early birthday present.
Damnit, Frank! Not cool, man. Not cool.
I’m pretty sure this is because of the gift card I got him for his birthday. I wouldn’t be comfortable taking the bike for nothing, though. It’s a really, really nice bike from what he was telling me about it a few months ago. Like, I’m sure it’s easily over $200. I’m not a bike person, so I don’t really, honestly know. But it’s worth more than nothing. It’s worth more than the $50 I gave him.
It doesn’t feel right accepting it for free. But then I have a thing with not liking gifts because gifts are normally a bad thing in my experience. Which I know is because I had a lot of not cool people as significant others, and I shouldn’t take that out on other people, but there you go. I’ve gotten emotionally burned, hardcore, due to accepting “gifts”, and so there’s anxiety associated with them, and fear if I’m completely honest with myself. Which sucks to admit because even thinking about getting something from my brothers on Christmas makes my chest tight. How f’ed up is that?
Acknowledging those emotions doesn’t change the fact that I would feel more comfortable accepting the bike if I were allowed to give something, anything, in return for it.
I’m not sure how that’s going to pan out, but it seems like everything is falling into place for that plan of attack. I’ll still be able to get to the gym and work, which are two things I was worried about. In the mornings we’ll pop the seats in my car down, stash my bike in the back, go to the gym, where I’ll get dropped off with all my stuff.
I’ll ride the bike to work, and when Zane picks me up we’ll stash the bike in the back of the car again, then swing by the gym to pick up my gym bag. Since I have to have my backpack and lunch box with me, it seems like would be easier to leave the gym bag.
We’ll see how it works out, but I’m fairly happy with how it feels like it will work out for everyone.
And that’s about it for my day. I want to drink another bottle of water. I might unload the dishwasher again, but honestly I think I’m done. Hopefully I’m able to sleep well tonight. I feel tired enough to.