Day 13 – Relationships
Day 13 of Chalene’s challenge is where we start looking at the relationships in our lives. Are they healthy? Positive? Do they build us up? Are there any that are negative that we might want to step back from?
I think I’ve already addressed this issue. I recently went through my friends list on Facebook and asked a very brutal question. Is this person really a friend or just an acquaintance?
And I answered that question with equal brutal honestly every time.
I have a lot less “friends” on Facefail now.
I’ve also gone through my Skype contact list, removing people I haven’t talked to in literally years. Several other social media accounts that I don’t really use were deleted along the way.
I’m not trying to cut people out of my life, but I am trying to get rid of a lot of the noise in it. I get a lot fewer notifications now. There’s less negativity in general. It limits my contact with people who I find draining rather than restoring. And I think I’m going to keep that in mind from this point forward.
If a person doesn’t recharge me in some way, do I really want to give them 24 access to me? At the moment my answer is no, I most likely don’t.
I’m happy with the direction I am going in this department. I am reaching out more to my family and friends, and I’m making sure that the people I’m interacting with are actually, truly friends, not just fleeting people in my life.
I’m not interested in big numbers. I’m interested in genuine numbers.
Day 14 – Time
I used to constantly wish I had more time. sometimes I still do. If only there were more hours in the day, more days in the week, more weeks in a year.
Over the years I’ve gotten better about realizing just what I’m actually doing with my time, which is what led to the whole “wanting to delete my Facebook” mentality.
I waste, literally, hours of my life doing absolutely nothing. I’ll get sucked into scrolling through my Facebook feed reading posts, following comment threads, investigating articles that have no real bearing or impact on my life…
I was tired of it. And tired of not having the restraint to simply not fall into the black hole of time wasting every time I had to reply to a message, which seemed to be all the time.
The same thing would happen for a lot of my other media sites. They were just time sinks with no real positive addition to balance out the negative influences it seemed to bring in.
So I got rid of them. And my life seems to be going smoother. I at least have those 1 to 2 hours each day back. I’m sure that’s going to add up over time. And I don’t have so many posts that are just childish drama. It’s more silent. Calm. Like the surface of a still pond rather than a public pool during the middle of summer.
For now I’m happy with it. I suppose I’ll keep the Facebook account active for now since it is attached to so many other things, most importantly being my Spotify account, and with the reduced friends list I think it’s not as much of an evil as it was previously.
I’m not going to clock and track how much time I spend on what tasks like I’m supposed to for today because that’s annoying, cumbersome, and I don’t do annoying and cumbersome. I’m not going to remember how long it took me to do something. I’m not going to remember to write down my start and end times… It’s going to be an incomplete list at best and that will frustrate me because I really ought to be able to time track stuff, just like I ought to be able to clock in and out for work properly like everyone else.
But it honestly doesn’t matter to me inside of “Jen World”. A task is going to take as long as it takes, just like I’m going to do my job regardless of if I’m on the clock or not. Logging it doesn’t change the fact that it happened.
I suppose it does give more quantifiable data… but like I said, in “Jen World” that data is irrelevant, and therefore not worthy of being collected.
So, I’ve knowingly cut out the biggest time sinks in my life and I already see improvement due to that action. That’s enough for me. And I really don’t want to know how much time I spend in the kitchen… That would just be a super scary number that would give me nightmares I’m sure.
With that, I’m going to mark Day 14 as a success and keep on trucking with my to-do list.