Musing Moment 0070: Days 18 and 19

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Day 18 – Confidence

This day always reminds me of a quote, supposedly from Aristotle.

quote

Chalene talks about how sometimes you have to walk the walk before you actually feel comfortable with it. It struck me as sort of humorous that I was actually given the same advice years before doing this challenge by a therapist I was seeing.

She said that doing something new, something different, something outside my comfort zone was going to feel awkward. I was going to be self conscious about it. I was going to worry and think that I was going to mess up and that other people were thinking that I was going to mess up.

She said, point blank, that I wasn’t going to feel confident the first time I did something new. Or maybe even the second, or third.

She also said that I should do it anyway. She said that it didn’t matter what other people thought of me, only what I thought of myself. She said that the more I did whatever action it was, the more sure of myself I would feel, the more confidence in my own ability I would have, the more natural and comfortable I would become.

At the age of 20 it was sort of like hearing the words, “Rome wasn’t built in a day.”

I could understand them. Yep, those are English words. They make a sentence. But I didn’t really have an appreciation for the phrase until much later in life. Just like I didn’t have an appreciation for the wisdom of my therapist until much later.

Looking back at it, I don’t think I was ready to fully comprehend that wisdom. I hadn’t found myself yet. I didn’t really have a grasp on who I was, and what I wanted to be as far as a person goes, but then who does at 20?

I try to keep Aristotle’s quote in mind whenever I start something new and the shaky feeling of insecurity starts to creep into my thoughts.

Ok. So this is new. It’s scary. And that’s ok. The only way to get better is to do it. The only way to prove to myself that it’s really not that bad is to walk the walk.

There actually doesn’t need to be any talking involved. For me, a lot of my projects and goals are taken on for an internal reason. I feel they are worth it. They do something to fulfill me. I don’t have to talk about that. All I have to do is take a deep breath and start walking from point A to point B.

That being said, success isn’t normally a straight line. And that’s something else I normally have to remind myself about when I realize the leisurely walk I had envisioned has turned into a mud obstacle course. : )

sucess

Day 19 – Skills vs. Goals

Day 19 is where we take a look at some definitions. It’s pretty common to list a skill as a goal, which can make understanding when you have reached a goal sort of confusing.

Goals have clear, usually measurable, outcomes, while skills don’t. How do you know when you’ve become “more organized”? How do you know when you’re “more fit”?

Being more organized is a skill that can be learned and applied to something, but it in itself isn’t actually a goal. It’s a nebulous idea with no solid lines to let you know when you have conquered your Mt. Everest.

So today, Chalene wants us to take a look at our goal list and to see if what we have written down are really goals, or skills we want to achieve. It’s cool if they’re skills. Our list doesn’t have to be perfect, especially when most of the time this is the first time where we’ve really sat down and thought of things we want to achieve. We’re not goal list masters yet. It’s a skill we’re working on. : )

One way to get better is to start consciously thinking about goals verses skills and to only write down goals on a goal list. Goals with clear, definitive markers to let us know when we’ve achieved them.

It’s almost time to rewrite our list, so the question, “Is this a goal?” should be at the front of our brain when next we sit down to figure out where we’re going and what we want.

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