This morning is dreary, cloudy. My toes are a little chilled, but not as bad as they could be. At the moment the day matches how I feel, or maybe it’s I who matches the day.
Low. Slow. Going back to sleep might be nice but I really don’t have interest in doing that. I don’t feel like I have much interest at all at the moment, and maybe that’s because I’m still working on my cup of coffee. Why does caffeine take so long to kick in sometimes? ;-;
It just sucks. I feel like it would be easier to want to do things if there was some sunshine. Something to help me get going. But there’s not so it’s taking a while for my motivation to start up.
This is where I’m at currently…
Saturday was a super busy day. I woke up, had something quick to eat, then loaded the car up with everything I needed for the day. It took two trips on my own to get everything out there. I went to the laundry mat I normally go to, but they were doing work on the parking lot, repaving it. Even though the businesses were still open I decided to go to a different place instead. Tripping over wires and lots of people I didn’t know didn’t seem the best way to start the day.
I ended up going to the laundry mat that John goes to instead. I didn’t know it was open 24 hours. That’s kind of cool. The machines are also cheaper than the ones at our apartment now that they’ve raised the rates. I may be going there to do laundry from now on. Especially since some of the machines here still don’t switch to cold water, and I’m not about to risk messing up all of the workout stuff that I just dropped a billion dollars on.
Which, I’ve come to a peaceful resolution in regards to having spent all of the money that I have recently.
First off, it’s out of my system. I have no urge at all to spend on anything else because I really don’t want anything else. I’m back to being content with what I have, and happy that the things I do have are practical, functional things rather than stuff that’s going to collect dust.
Second, I think of all of it as gear, battle armor. I need this to help me train for my race and to get ready for the military, if I actually do finally decide to go that route. I’m not going to let myself feel bad for buying quality armor to help me win the battles I want to fight. I’m not going to feel bad for replacing stuff I should have replaced years ago. I am content with my investment. Should I have used the card? I don’t know. There are different schools of thought for that.
My school of thought; it’s helping me move forward on goals I want to achieve. It’s keeping me motivated and feeling good. It helps me feel like it’s worth going to work because there’s a pay off for me, not just my debt. I’m able to have thing I want, not just things I need. I’m not going to allow myself to feel bad about investing in myself and the things I care about. I’m worth it. End of story.
I didn’t sacrifice any of my other financial obligations. I still paid all of my bills on time. Even over paid on the card still. The only thing I sacrificed was how quickly I am going to reach the goal for paying the card off. I’m not going to be able to get it done by the end of the year like I wanted anyway, so waiting an extra month or so to be done with it isn’t going to kill me. It’s a choice I made and I’m ok with that choice.
Thirdly. December is my birth month. Plus there’s Christmas though Christmas isn’t a big deal for me. I’m not going to be buying anything for myself because I don’t want anything else. All of this stuff, the new pants, the new running shoes, the bike helmet and light… All of the money I’ve recently spent on myself, that was my birthday and Christmas and all of rewards for the certification and everything else that I needed to give myself a pat on the back for.
The only other things I might get are new panties. And those are more of a necessity rather than a reward. Maybe… maybe, new headphones. I doubt it though.
Anywho… Yeah. I’m ok with the money thing. I love all of my things. The compression pants worked amazing on the cold night I biked home. I love the Lucy tops and the over shirts I got. The new bandanas are great and I’ve gotten compliments about them. I gush over my new running shoes anytime someone mentions them. The thicker sole works great for biking and running. The new armband does fantastic at the gym. Everything has worked out exactly as I wanted it to, and I don’t feel like I have wasted a single penny on any of the purchases.
It was a lot. But I’m worth it, and February, when I do amazing in my race, will prove that none of this was a waste.
Going back to the recap of my Saturday… I worked on the character sheets while the clothes washed and dried. The laundry mat didn’t seem to have wi-fi so I couldn’t send images to Zane, but I was content with my work and sat for about 10 minutes before the clothes finished drying listening to music.
After the laundry was done I went to the gym. They are doing a food drive so I was able to donate all of the nonsense form the pantry that no one is using. Huzzah!
I ran, did a round on the machines, and wrapped up with yoga. I showered there, changing into fresh clothes, then headed out to my car.
I messaged Nicole before going anywhere to make sure we were still good for lunch. She said yes, but that she might be a bit late. That was fine. I told her if I was early I would cross stitch while waiting for her.
With those plans confirmed I drove over to Dick’s Sporting Goods to see about exchanging two of the gray compression pants for black ones. The cashier I had was super nice. She offered for me to see if there were any pants in my size to exchange at the store, otherwise she would refund me the cost. The store only had one set, but I figured I could reorder the second one online when I got home. She refunded me my purchase to a gift card, so I’ll be using that to pay once I actually do it.
With that as done as it could be I went to school where I set up my laptop. I messaged Zane the images of the character sheet so he could approve them. I logged my workouts. I got caught up on my personal email and wrote a lengthy response to a blog I found. By then it was time to meet up with Nicole.
We had a fantastic lunch where we chatted for about an hour and a half. I had a southwestern chicken mex bowl thing… it was amazing. So much so that I looked up a recipe for southwestern salads, which is one of the meals I’ll be doing this week.
Once Nicole and I parted ways I went back to school. I finished working on the commission for Marcus and sent him over images for approval. He loved it and gave me the green light to move on to phase two, which is making the actual pattern and figuring out the colors. We’ve already talked about the base color pallet so I feel like this part of the process will move fairly quickly once I actually begin work on it. That’s the main goal for today.
I was going to donate my old clothes to Salvation Army, and mentioned to Zane I was going to do that before heading home since I was pretty much done for the day. He mentioned going to Goodwill would be the better option since Salvation Army donates to anti-LBTG groups.
I don’t mind donating my clothes else where, Goodwill is super out of the way though, so I didn’t want to drive all the way out there unless there was another thing on my to-do list I could cross off while taking care of the clothes. Since there wasn’t the clothes are still sitting in the trunk of my car. At some point I will take care of them. Most likely won’t be this week though. I might put them in the re-use section of the storage unit since I want to go there this weekend for a few things.
Zane loved the character sheet. Ok, maybe love is a bit too strong of a word, but he liked it. Pretty sure I forgot to mention that.
Hannah came over Saturday evening. I ended up taking a nap when I got home since I was tired from being up so early and out and about for so long. When she came over we went out to the sports bar so we all could eat, then came back to the apartment and watched Spirited Away.
We chatted a bit about her possibly moving in once John and Trevor move out. It would lower the rent she is currently paying, she would be in a cat friendly environment, closer to school, and wouldn’t have to go through the hassle of finding a new roommate for six months since she graduates soon.
I’m not sure if she will move in, but I would be ok with it if she did. Saturday night helped us mesh a bit more. I think she looks at Zane and I as mentors for adulting… that’s a scary thought…
So that was Saturday. Social. Productive. Good.
One of the things I saw on Saturday as a post on Facebook from a few friends about a stage fighting group. Like, renaissance sword fighting. Sort of like larping, but not.
It looked so cool and fun. And I saw that the group had a meeting scheduled for Sunday. I messaged one of my friends who was listed as “going” to the event to make sure she would actually be there. She said she would, so spur of the moment I made plans to go.
That meant Sunday I had to wake up pretty early to get all of the chores done. Zane and I meal planned a bit when I woke up. He was sort of grouchy though, so as soon as we were done I left him alone to sleep. I showered, dressed, then headed out to the produce store since the Internet said they opened at 8.
On Sunday they open at 9, Google. Thanks for messing up my morning.
It actually wasn’t that bad. Instead of starting at the produce store I went across the street to Publix to do the other portion of the grocery shopping. It was pretty expensive compared to what Zane and I have been spending on grocery.
I needed to stock some stuff for my stash at school, so that meant a case of water, tuna lunches, shakes, and protein bars. I needed a new bottle of multi-vitamins, along with all of the stuff to make my homemade almond bars. Those have been an amazing snack to have when I get back to work from the gym, so I want to keep a supply of them handy.
I was actually pretty happy it was my turn to get groceries since a lot of the stuff was specifically for me. With that done I had enough time to come home and put the food away and sit for a bit. I hate it when you get weird pockets of time like that. Too much time to do nothing, but not enough time to do much of anything… So frustrating.
I used it to have coffee, since I was out of creamer when I woke up, and poked around online for a bit.
Eventually it was time to get going to make it to the stage fighting meeting on time. I was worried about getting lost, but I found the park easy enough. Now that I’ve been there it’s super easy to find. I got there before my friend did which made me a little added to my nervousness. I didn’t know anyone else. But there weren’t a ton of people at this meet, and all of them were super nice.
I had to fill out paper work saying I wouldn’t sue anyone if I died. Yay legal stuff. We did some stretching which my body was totally ok with. They had planned to record during this meet and since some people were missing that meant there wasn’t really anyone to pair off with me and start my training. But that didn’t phase me. I enjoyed being able to sit and watch. I actually helped my friend and another girl write out a new fight.
It was so cool. They were using staves, which is a lot like the jo in akido. As they were going through moves and figuring out what they wanted to do I was able to make suggestions and there were two places where they were stuck, not sure where to go from where they were at and I was able to help give them ideas based on what I would have done if I were in their situation.
So much fun! I can’t wait to actually be part of it and writing out my own fight sequences. I guess the group does performances at different events. Next weekend they are doing auditions for an event that is coming up, so I most likely won’t be able to start training then either, but I still plan to go and watch for a few hours. Another slow introduction day sort of a thing.
My hands physically ached to hold one of the staves and I could feel my body mentally going through Fey’s motions as she was “fighting” with Marissa.
One huge plus is that this is free. No membership fee, no sort of charge at all. The provide the props too. The most I would have to buy are a pair of gardening gloves.
It’s outside in a gorgeous park, and it’s physical, moving, interacting. I could feel the energy between Marissa and Fey as they were practicing their routine. I can’t wait. I feel like it’s going to be a lot of fun. And since they meet on Saturday / Sunday I ought to be able to go to most of the meetings, even when I start going back to aikido in the new year.
They also do “garb day” which is where you dress up in your renaissance gear, if you have it. It’s not required for the practices, but I’m pretty sure some sort of costume is needed for the performances. I’m not sure if those are provide or if you are expected to have your own, but at the moment I don’t care. It just seems super fun and I’m not worried about preforming, just participating at the moment.
Fey was totally decked out in her gear. Makeup and all. She was a Christmas elf, with red pants, white fur covering her boots, a long sleeve green top with a leather vest over it. She had a staff as her main weapon but also a few daggers. She had white contacts in, with super dark red hair. She looked fantastic.
Zane is interested in going with me, but I’m glad he didn’t go this first time. I think it wouldn’t have been a good introduction for him. While I liked sitting and observing, being on the outside and slowly taking everything in, I know he would have gotten bored with not having anything to do. He would have wanted to jump straight in and do things. So he’s not going to be going with me to the second meeting either, the one with the auditions, but he is interested in going with me when the actual training begins.
The meetings are scheduled 10am to 2pm, but I only stayed until 12. It felt like a good time to leave. I was already getting hungry at that point. Zane and I chatted when I got home, even cuddling for a bit. I was tired. So much social…
We went out for sushi since we hadn’t had a date where it was just us. It was very low key which I liked. Hannah was supposed to work, but I guess her hours got cut so she wasn’t there. I feel like I should mention that going out for sushi was my idea and not Zane’s.
When we came back to the apartment I laid on the couch with Zane as he played Fallout. I slept for a bit before moving to the room where I slept longer. I woke up around 5pm which is when I went back out to finish the grocery shopping.
We need a few more things, like lunch bags, which I didn’t realize until I got home and wanted to divide up the meat. I may try to go to the Publix for it today before going to the gym. Get a few extra miles into my day. But I’m not sure yet. Still sort of low key.
I spend half as much at the produce store as I did at Publix. I’m right at where I wanted to be for the food budget though. So while it’s more than what we have been spending, it’s still within the range we set, so we’re good.
I didn’t do much with the food other than put it away. I went back to the room with Scarlet and slept more. Last night was Trevor’s Pathfinder game, which I’ve actually backed out of. I’ll keep playing in Uke’s game, but there was no way I could have make it through last night’s game with how burned out on social time I was. I’m still sort of feeling that burnout today which might be another reason being motivated is hard.
I woke up again and came out of the room for water. At that point everyone was ready for food. We ordered pizza, which I paid for with the card and everyone chipped in a bit of money towards the total. It was more than I wanted to spend, but at least there was help in covering the cost, and I didn’t have to worry about the kitchen being a mess or full of dirty dishes later.
Zane stayed up pretty late. At the moment we’re not really fighting, but we’re a bit disconnected, another factor into the lack of energy I’m sure. But we’ve been talking since I woke up and things are going better.
I feel better for having written even though it wasn’t about anything of any real importance. I don’t think today is going to be all that crazy productive. It’s already noon. I’ll most likely head out around 2 or 3 so I can get to the gym. I’m going to stick with two minute intervals for running today, but I’m going to increase how many of them I do, so I’ll be getting more time and distance in. I think that’s a good compromise. Next week I can increase the interval duration.
Anyway. I’m sort of bored with writing. The sun has finally come out. I think I’m going to go outside and finish my coffee in the sunlight and hope that whatever part of me that’s a dragon wakes up enough to actually do stuff today.