Daily Post 060: The Last Day of Survival

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Today seems like a blah day. It rained earlier this morning for about an hour or so. It was sunny while I had breakfast so I sat outside eating a full breakfast sandwich. Normally I only do one slice of toast with an egg, some cheese, and a few slices of bacon. Not today though. I did two whole slices of bread, a full egg sandwich, because I’m a rebel without a cause. Maybe I’ve been playing too many chaotic evil character in my Pathfinder games… It’s rubbing off on me.

 

It was a nice way to start the morning, but as I was looking off into the distance sort of spacing out I realized that it was still super cloudy out and that it looked like more rain. And wouldn’t you know, right now it’s raining outside again. I’m hoping it stops before 4pm which is the latest I can hang around before leaving for work.

 

I’ve biked in the rain before, but it’s always been after work. I would rather not do it before work. Being stuck in the computer lab while wet would be a nightmare since they’re so cold. I’m sure I would have ice crystals forming on me by the end of the night.

 

Today is my last day of “Survive the Week”. It’s also payday which leaves me in an interesting spot.

 

I had an email saying it’s my one year anniversary with Torrid, a clothing store. Ari has been wearing super adorable tops, and apparently that’s where she got them from. I took about an hour to poke around on the site and found some things I like. There’s also a bunch of Christmas savings and blah, blah, blah… Basically all these “reasons” why it would be ok to be irresponsible and spend money that I shouldn’t be spending.

 

Before I did anything I went onto my banking site to take care of the responsible stuff first. You know… just to see just how irresponsible getting new dress tops would be. I just got done buying all of my workout stuff, but the only “nice” tops I have are the ones from the Salvation Army…

 

Me: Stop justifying impulse buying. /pokes brain with a qtip.

 

So this is where things get sort of interesting. I have a paycheck today, and then one on the first of January. This paycheck is supposed to be used to pay all of my “first” bills, only… everything is current until the 1st. So… aside from car insurance and food I have no bills….

 

After calculating everything out and making my extra payment on the credit card I have $780 sitting in my account. I could get two tops, get the bike a super duper tune up, and pay Alex back for the furniture he gave me back in February when I lived with Joshua. All of that and I would still have extra money that I could put towards the card.

 

I admit, I’m no where near where I want to be with it. then again, when I was originally setting up my goals I wasn’t expecting the shopping spree I did for my gym stuff. I wasn’t expecting a $100 vet visit. I wasn’t expecting to have to by a few hundred dollars worth of bike stuff either. Or training sessions at the gym for my race, or the race fee itself. Oh yeah, and certification practice test books and the test fee, plus the gas money to drive to and from Jacksonville in a single day just to take the test. The cost of the hotel and gas money for when I went home this Thanksgiving… I really could go on and on listing out all of the things I have spent money on, and there is a small, tiny part of my brain that cringes while the rest of me stands up, puffing my chest out in defiance because hell yeah I spent that money.

 

I spent that money. I spent all of that and then some, and it was all on stuff that I absolutely love and cherish, and it’s all stuff that’s going towards making me a better me. It’s all stuff that I wanted to do. I’m not going to feel bad about wanting to run a mud obstacle 5k. Or getting warm clothing so I don’t freeze on my rides home. Or a spiffy cool purple and black bike helmet so I look badass as I dodge the cars that almost hit me.

 

The bike tune up is the last thing I’ve been kicking around inside of my head, and I was thinking about saving that until the new year. It was going to happen at some point anyway. Shane and I are thinking about doing our bike ride on the 21st or 22nd, so getting the bike tuned up this weekend would be a smart option. The chain has started skipping again on the higher gears, too. I think that has to do with not down shifting when I should have been, but I’m getting a better feel for it. I might have knocked something out of alignment, but if it gets fixed up with the tune up, I don’t think it would be a continued issue now that I’m getting better about my gears.

 

Something else I thought was interesting. I checked out the points I’ve earned at the bike shop so far. I’ve earned enough to get a free water bottle. But the nifty thing with that is after a certain point you start earning gift cards, which you can use on new bikes. If I saved all of the gift cards I earn from points alone I would get $440. That’s basically the cost of a new bike, and I think that’s how I’ll work it. I’ll keep Zane’s maintained and earn points for it, and then in June, after my second race, use the points to help go towards a new bike. My very own, super awesome, totally fantastic, the first one I’ve ever picked on my own, bike.

 

I like the way that idea feels inside of my head. It would have felt like I earned it rather than just randomly going out and dropping money. It would make the bike mean so much more to me.

 

I like the idea of having a handful of tops that I can wear on date night, or to work on the few days that I don’t bike. I guess it’s worth noting that I would get an extra $10 off the tops because it’s my birthday, plus everything is buy-one-get-one 50% off, and if I ship it to the store it’s free shipping. I mean… if I’m going to be irresponsible I should at least do it responsibly, right?

 

Me: Behave! /pokes at brain again

 

I like the idea of taking care of a debt that I’ve had listed on my to-do list for a while. I know Alex doesn’t expected to be paid back, but I want to pay him. And what a perfect time to do it. I could send a check or money order with a Christmas card for him and his girlfriend.

 

 

I’m going to sit on these ideas for a little bit, but that’s what I have going on inside my brain at the moment.

 

I also have grading that I need to do. It’s only eight projects, and since they were fairly good on the last turn-in I’m thinking they’re going to go pretty fast for this one as well. That would be fantastic. Not having to spend my whole morning grading.

 

Zane had taken out the trash and cleaned up the kitchen a bit before going to work, so the apartment wasn’t the disaster I was expecting when I got home. The first thing I did was text him saying thank you because it really did make my day insanely better. Since there hadn’t been much time in the morning I hadn’t even thought that he would have done anything before leaving to work. There’s a part of me that’s ashamed for having that mentality. For instantly thinking that he wouldn’t at least try to do something.

 

It’s something I plan to meditate on. I know it was unfair mentality of me to have.

 

I made some pretty significant progress on my commission, and after posting my previous blog I did a pretty good job of being ok. I wouldn’t go as far as to say happy. But I wasn’t depressed and I wasn’t as agitated, either.

 

I played Chime for a bit when I got home. After loading the dishwasher and running it. I also ate first since between 7am and 5pm I had only consumed 400 cal. Not cool. Zane packed a hookah when he got home. Not a flavor I super liked, but it wasn’t terrible. I showered eventually and ran back out to school with the car to retrieve my backpack. I didn’t feel like riding home with it. Guess that makes me a slacker.

 

I slept pretty well the whole night. Zane stayed up again. He had to make brownies for his potluck thing at work. I really feel like I’m just rambling at the moment. I don’t have a clear picture of today so far since I haven’t really ironed out my to-to list.

 

Grading, and I suppose cooking lunch. Zane wants me to cut up the veggies for him so he can cook the Shepard’s pie tonight. Showering might be a good idea… So there are things and stuff to do. It’s before noon so I guess I’m doing good.

 

It’s the last day. I got this. I can do this. I’m awesome. I’m… going to try my best not to crawl back into bed. It looks so lonely though, and it’s all rainy and stuff… We’ll see what wins out, nap time or productivity.

 

 

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