I’m pretty sure that I am only a day behind on my writing, but since today is halfway over, and has already been a pretty eventful day, it feels like more.
Yesterday I didn’t do much. It was my day off. I didn’t have the car. It was a rainy, cloudy, dreary day, sort of like my mood. I slept horribly the night before because Zane kept moving around and waking me up in his sleep. That meant I didn’t really get to sleep fully, deeply, until after he left for work, which meant I slept until around noon and felt like a slacker for wasting the day away before I even rolled out of bed to enjoy my coffee.
I had failed before I even started. Great. Fantastic. Let me continue to fail by staying in bed for another 30 minutes just for good measure… You know… I don’t want to do anything half-assed. It’s all or nothing here.
I did get up eventually. I had breakfast. I had coffee. Two cups actually, though the other one wasn’t until much later in the day. I wrote a prompt page for the first time in months. That sort of helped jar me out of my funk. It reminded me that even when I feel lame and kick myself when I’m down that I’m a good person and I do good things most of the time.
I ended up getting dressed and biking to the bank. Zane had given me cash for his debt payment. I wanted it to be in the bank for this morning so I could pay bills and move money to where it needed to be. That meant actually getting the money deposited into my account… which meant not being a slacker and actually doing something productive with my day…
Fine… I’ll get up and do stuff. That way I can rest on my laurels. That way if anyone asked what I had done for the day I could feel good by replying with, “I did a 10 mile bike ride. What did you do?”
Yeah. Who’s the slacker now? / mic drop
It was actually a really good ride and I’m glad that I went. Not a ton of sun, but there wasn’t wind and it was warmer than it has been all week. It felt like a really awesome warm up to be honest. Not overly hard. Just long enough to start to get a burn going. It made me feel better about myself. About the day. It wasn’t a waste. It was just low key, like a day off should be. Sleeping in, lounging around. Enjoying my peace and quiet since no one else was at the apartment.
Yeah… Not a wasted day. Just a low key day.
I came back home and unloaded the dishwasher. I didn’t have a to-do made so I did things as I felt like it. Scarlet got brushed and we had super awesome cuddly cat time. I played Chime for a bit.
When Zane came home we sat on the couch and had quality time where we talked about his day and some of the calls he had to take. His hip has been bothering him. I think it’s a pinched nerve. Not fun, whatever it is. I could tell he was in pain.
We cooked the other half of the fish for fish tacos. Zane used a bunch of seasoning this time and it came out fantastic. Still not as great as it could have been since the lime sauce I made was a little on the weak side, but we have plans for improving the recipe which we are going to put into affect next week. Muahahaha.
We watched the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie last night. I haven’t seen the most recent movie, and I think Zane is missing the last two. Since I want to do the deck of cards as an art project I wanted to make sure I picked the right characters for the face cards. I’m not familiar with all of the characters though, so I didn’t feel I could be an accurate judge on the people I picked. Really this is just a clever ploy for movie time. : 3
But yeah. We watched the first movie. I cross stitched during most of it. I found out that I had made a mistake on my project but I was able to recover from it easily and made a fair amount of progress for the night.
Zane’s hip ended up getting worse as the night progressed, to the point where he couldn’t really walk. I went to the store and got Icy-Hot patches for him, though they didn’t seem to help all that much. There was a lot of snapping involved as I tried to help him.
It sucked. It didn’t make me feel loved or appreciated. We’ve already talked about it this morning. I think I did a pretty good job of keeping things in an objective mindset, but being yelled at ,“Is this hard for you?” didn’t feel good. And made me not want to help at all. : /
What’s the phrase about biting the hand that feeds you? Don’t do it? Can we put that into affect, please?
Zane slept on the couch because of his hip. I think the distance helped. I slept deeply, waking up on my own around 10. The ickiness from the night before was mostly gone, and I knew that we would eventually talk about it, hashing out all of the lingering emotions. It wouldn’t ruin the day, and we weren’t “broken”. It was just a shitty night, and we really were / are ok.
Zane was asleep when I went out to the living room, so I woke him up to see if he wanted breakfast. He did. He was able to walk a bit more than he had the night before and was in less pain. He had called out of work, which meant I got to use the car for the day.
After eating we meal planned for the coming week. Green curry, baked ziti, and another round of fish tacos since we have so much left over for it. We’re going to be doing bagels again for breakfasts, and tuna for lunches.
I went back to the room after a bit and did all of my bill paying. I was able to put $650 towards the card. I feel so amazing for that right now. Zane and I talked about starting to get stuff for the apartment. He wants to go out for the microwave this weekend. I think that could be fun. Date day could be apartment shopping and lunch.
Eventually I showered, dressing nice since I would be able to drive the car to work rather than biking. Yep. That’s right. I’m flexing my girl card today. My hair is done up all cute like and stuff. I’m wearing my maroon top with the lattice back. Nice dress slacks. Look at me girling like I actually know what I’m doing.
It ended up being a good thing that Zane called out of work. I don’t like that he’s in pain, but it rained all morning and didn’t stop until around noonish. I would have intensely disliked having to bike to work in the rain again.
Currently I’m sitting in lab, typing this up while Frank proof reads and email I need to send to my boss’s boss’s boss. Yeah…
I had an email last night from him asking if I wanted to run a 3D Blitz event for the school’s Hall of Fame week.
Yes. I do. But I don’t see how we can due to the changes in the program’s overall curriculum. It’s a long story, most likely one I will
bitch write about later.
Right now the big take away is I’m having to email important people and diplomatically tell them that they’ve fucked up over a years worth of my effort and that unless they can help me find another way to incorporate the event that it’s most likely dead for good.
What I really want to say is something more along these lines…
Non-diplomatic response: “You guys fucked everything up. How is this supposed to work, and why are you asking me to do it when I’m the one who got screwed over the most? You murdered my child essentially. I would rather you burn for the rest of eternity than do something that makes you guys look good. Fuck you very much. : D”
No hard feelings… I promise… >.>;
Since I can’t actually send something like that I guess I’ll just have to be happy with expelling all of those F bombs on my blog page and move on with life. /sigh
Clavan and David got through all of the grading yesterday without me, so I don’t have that to worry about today. That was a positive to my day off. Work continued on without me and there weren’t fires for me to deal with for having a scheduled day off. Huzzah. Small miracles.
I got confirmation from Other David, the former student / current friend. We’re good for dinner tonight at 7. We’re going to Burger 21. Looking forward to that.
I’ve already been pretty happy with today, but I’ll save that for mostly tonight / tomorrow morning / whenever I get a chance to actually write again.
I’m feeling good. Life keeps on going even though some things are annoying and not fun. I’m taking care of business and making progress. Go me.