Yoga socks! I didn’t even know those were a thing. How have I not known about this? How have I been living my life without them?
I am totally captivated by this concept. And they have yoga gloves, too! I shall never have to worry about face planting onto the floor due to my own sweat ever again. So much win. I seriously cannot begin to express how much I am geeking out over this discovery.
Needless to say I have a set of yoga socks on the way from Amazon, and you can be sure that I’ll write about how much I love, or hate, them once I put them on and try them out.
To be honest I’m not getting them for yoga. I’m actually getting them for work. Since I’ve been biking to work I’m always in my cross-training Vibrams, which don’t get me wrong, they’re awesome. I love them and fully encourage people to try them out.
I don’t like being in those shoes for eight hours after I’ve just gotten done sweating in them by biking to work. I’ve wanted a pair of comfy shoes to switch into, but I don’t want to leave my other pair of Vibrams at work, or cart an extra set of shoes back and forth with me everyday. I want a pair that I can leave at work with my sweater and extra pants.
Enter in yoga socks. I’m going to try bending the rules a bit, because I’m a terrible person like that. Since the “socks” have grip on the bottom I’m hoping they will fulfill the requirements of shoes. My goal is to have something comfy to wear and leave at school that still makes everyone happy because I’m not barefoot or wearing flip-flops / sandals.
Me to HR after being called in for dress code violation: Come on, guys… work with me here. I’ll compromise if you do. It’s not like the knowledge leaks out of my toes if I don’t have the right shoes on… I would also be cool with the option of you buying Zane a car. I’m sure he would be grateful for it, though I’ll most likely still bike to work even if we did have two cars…
The socks are also super cool because the product I got is actually a four pack, so I get color options. I’m not stuck with just black, or gray. I could do purple one day if I wanted. The reviews are super positive, too. I was worried about the socks not fitting. I mean… one size fits most doesn’t mean they’ll fit. I read “one size fits most” as “one size fits everyone except you because that’s how the world works”.
There was one review which mentioned the socks fitting a size 10, so theoretically I should be good. Like I said, totally can’t wait. They should be in halfway through next week.
Yesterday ended up being a pretty fantastic day.
I biked to work a little early so I could have time to cool off before my meeting. I was actually way earlier than I thought I would be and entertained the idea of going to the gym before hand but decided against it. I didn’t want my workout to feel rushed. I would have more time after the meeting than before, so best to save it for later. The meeting might go badly, which would suck and result with me most likely having to go back to the gym to work out all of the new frustration and that would just be lame. I like to think of this as efficient rather than lazy… >.>;
So, gym would come after. I took the extra time to work on homework for a bit, getting lost in my work and almost being late to the meeting…. Leave it to me to be somewhere an hour early and still end up 15 minutes late. >.<;
I wonder if this is an INFJ issue…
Anyway, the meeting was amazing. Marie is such a fantastic person and I’m so glad that I was finally able to meet her face to face. She listened to me explain and stumble through the story. She said that she mostly deals with written plagiarism and wasn’t sure how to judge design plagiarism, especially in relation to someone else’s assignment, but she listened to me explain my feelings and together we were able to find the root of the hurt.
I don’t want to be thought of as dishonorable or dishonest. And I guess I wrote about that in my initial post but I didn’t really consciously see it as the root of my discord. My instructor thinks I cheated, when I don’t think I did. When that’s something I would never personally do. So now he has this low opinion of me and I want to fix that. But I wasn’t sure how. I was too caught up in the emotions to know how to approach him without escalating the situation further and being defensive. And so I was left, stuck, with this cloud hanging over me. I’m a cheater, but I’m not, and I don’t know how to get the other person to see the real me.
Marie thought I was mature in my decision to not reply to my instructor right away and seeking outside help with the situation. That made me feel better about my choice to wait. I was starting to second guess myself on the level of professionalism I was displaying. I’m all about quick replies to emails and messages, but in this instance I knew if I replied before getting a firm grasp on my emotions, before really understanding them, it would go poorly. I needed to wait until I felt in control of myself and in possession of a clearer perspective.
Marie also mentioned how she didn’t feel the tone in my instructor’s email was overly harsh, which was nice to hear. It actually made it easier to accept the comments in his message knowing that I was most likely reading too far into a tone that wasn’t there. Curse emails and their lack of non-verbal cues.
She said she felt the two options were extreme, but that over all the tone was detached and professional. I can relate to that. There have been projects in the past that I have graded, projects that score a 12, or an 8. What can you really do with something that bad other than keeping a detached, logical, professional tone.
Me: This is what’s wrong. If you have any questions let me know.
Marie felt that’s what his message was intending. Plagiarism is such a taboo. Maybe that was the only way he felt he could address the issue.
Instructor: Here are the options available to us. Let me know what you want to do.
I mentioned how I wanted to meet with my instructor in person, but was worried about it. I didn’t know how to ask to meet without it sounding like I was contesting my grade. Marie and I talked further on that topic and at the end she offered to proof the message I wanted to send.
All in all it was really awesome and gave me the solid grounding I needed. It gave me a way to move forward, and having a clear course of action made me feel secure in resolving the issue.
After the meeting I biked to the gym where I ran for half a mile before doing a Nike Training Club workout. It was the Zoom in 10 workout again, focusing on full body movements. No weights, but body weight was enough to have me tired by the end while still looking at seven more miles of biking before calling it a day.
I took a few minutes to cool off before biking back to school. It was my Character Rigging lab today, so only 4 hours.
When I got in David mentioned how I “missed it” on Saturday. A fight almost broke out between two students. I’m sort of glad I wasn’t there, but at the same time I wish I had been. I feel I would have been able to dissipate the situation a bit better. No one was hurt and no fighting actually occurred.
Lab was uneventful but still mildly busy. Lots of really good questions and conversations with a handful of the students. I think I helped clear up a few concepts for one of them. She was super appreciative after our conversation, which took about 30 minutes. When she came back up the handful of times during the lab she was using better terminology and able to walk herself through the issues. It was extremely gratifying to see her confidence go from, “I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m so lost and behind. I can’t do this. Please help,” to, “I’m not sure what’s wrong, but this is my thought process.”
Those are the moments where I feel like my job is worth it. Seeing someone grow, become more confident in themselves. It’s not about being right. It’s not about being a prodigy. It’s about trying, exploring, improving, learning. It’s about not being intimidated by something new. Everything starts out new. It’s about taking a deep breath and doing your best.
So yeah, lab was great in my opinion. The boost and reminder that I needed to have.
Due to all of the questions / conversations I wasn’t able to make as much progress on my homework as I was hoping. I got most of it done, but still had a few pages to finish for my mood board. I’m having to analyze a magazine spread for the exercise this week. The example pdfs given as reference are only 4 pages at most. I was at 11 pages by the time I was done. I feel like I did a good job with it. But we’ll see.
I biked home. The nights are finally warming up. Summer is here for Florida. The trees have new, bright green leaves. The ground is warm. The air has energy in it. I love it. All of it. I feel it against my skin, moving through me, surrounding and embracing me and I feel like I’m thriving with it right now.
This is my season. My time.
The ride home was warm, fast, with very little wind resistance. As soon as I got inside I basically turned around and headed back out with Zane. We had a few things to pick up from the store which closed in an hour. We went back to school first for me to pick up my backpack and wallet, that way I could finish my homework later in the evening.
I should mention I have already finished the reading and took the quiz. Scored a 100. Go me.
Zane and I went to the store were we got the handful of things we needed. I’m going to be making home made coffee creamer, so I got the heavy cream for that. I thought we needed paper towels. After buying a pack and getting home I realized we still had two rolls in the pantry as I was putting the new ones away… At least we won’t run out for a while?
Zane also picked up the things he needed to make rice crispy treats for the pot luck his work is doing on Friday.
We watched an episode of Boondocks after we got home. He opted to sleep on the couch while I worked in the bedroom. I eventually fell asleep around 2 in the morning.
I vaguely remember waking up when Zane came into the room to get ready for work, but I don’t remember him leaving, which isn’t normal for me. If I’m awake I’m usually up, but I was still so tired this morning. And really I guess I shouldn’t be surprised at this fact. I biked roughly 15 miles yesterday, ran for a half mile, and did a 10 minute HIIIT workout. I think I earned the right to sleep for more than 4 hours, but maybe that’s just me.
Today started around 10ish. It might have been closer to 11. I honestly don’t remember. The sun was up. It was bright. I was sore and groggy. I made breakfast and had my coffee before typing out the email to my instructor. I sent the file to Marie to proof read then went about the handful of minor chores I wanted to do.
One of the tasks on my list was “Put coins away”. Mind tricks, yo. I had a baggie of coins that I had brought in from the car sitting on my desk. I was still so tired and fighting the urge to go back to bed, which I knew wasn’t what I really wanted to do, so adding something that minor to my list helped me build momentum.
Me: Look at that sexy black line on my to-do list. Hell yeah. I’m a bawce.
Maybe it’s a little sad, but things like that can help jump start me. Not only did I do something, but I actually acknowledged the fact that I did something, no matter how minor. It makes it easier to keep going. To do bigger, better, more things.
So… I went from being tired and not really do much with my day to researching into jivamukti yoga, which led to my fantastic discovery of yoga socks. I took the trash out which is normally Zane’s job, but I was home not doing much. Might as well do it while I’m up, right?
I made a Google spreadsheet for all of the items Zane and I still want to get for the apartment. That was nice because we had a list written down in a notebook and I got to go through and starch off all of the items we’ve already gotten, or things Trevor left for us to use. I got to add color and structure to the spreadsheet and share it with Zane so we can both add items to it as we think of them. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a while, and I finally got around to it. Yay good feelz.
I’ve spent time everyday these past few days brushing Scarlet. She’s enjoying the quality time. I’m thinking about taking her to the vet on Friday because she’s still stumbling more than walking. I doubt there is anything the vet can do, but if I take her at least I will know that I did what I could.
Side note… my request to have Friday off was approved. Huzzah. So I can legit go to the vet if I decide to. I can also easily make it to the Women’s Initiative meeting that afternoon without having to be a hot, sweaty mess from biking.
I ended up packing Trevor’s few remaining wine glasses, which were left on the counter. I also cleaned up and packed up the rest of his stuff that was on the kitchen table. I had to make a small box of stuff for Zane to go through, but the kitchen is almost 100% the way I want it to be. I also cleaned up the tables in the living room, another small box for Zane’s and some of Hannah’s stuff, but that let me wipe the tables down.
Overall the apartment is so much better it’s insane. I’m back to enjoying being home. I don’t have anxiety about being there anymore. It’s not a gross, messy environment that I can do nothing about. If I don’t like something I can change it. I can make it better. I can clean it. It’s mine and I’m responsible for it. It’s a reflection of me finally.
It only takes one Clorox wipe to clean the counters. The stove isn’t spattered with foodstuffs from other people. And the few dishes that are in the sink when I get home are from Zane and Hannah eating dinner. Easily rinsed and put away. A small, easily accomplished task that helps me transition from work to home. Not the seemingly impossible task of cleaning up after another couple after they have made their dinner, leaving food to get caked onto the pots for me spend 30 minutes of my night cleaning.
Trevor still has some stuff to get out of the apartment. The weather turned bad Sunday so he wasn’t able to get all the furniture out, and now that it’s the week everyone is working and it’s hard to get things done at the end of the day.
Oh, totally mildly related tangent about time and the end of the day… at 8pm last night the sky still had the last bits of sunset in it. It wasn’t completely pitch black out. But to be honest when you’re in the middle of Orlando there’s so much light pollution that there’s not such think as pitch black. It was nice to see even faint sunlight as I left work, though.
Summer, summer everywhere. Even in the night time sky.
We’re hoping for Trevor’s stuff to be out by the end of this week. Uke is going to be moving his stuff in soon. I’m going to be getting a U-Hual this weekend to get my bookcases and totes out of storage. Nothing really needs to be unpacked. Most of my totes are actually empty and just stacked inside of themselves. My brother’s stuff is in there, but that’s not a big deal. I’m thinking about asking him if we can set up his computer and make a profile for Zane. That would give the computer somewhere to go, and give Zane a computer to use other than his laptop with a bad battery.
Once I was done with all the cleaning I rinsed down before keeping up with a new routine I’ve started.
Some backstory… I’ve used pure, unscented coconut oil as a deodorant for almost a year now, and I can say from experience that it works. Literally, just like baby oil, you can massage the coconut oil into your skin and it works amazing. I haven’t had an issue with any sort of body odor. I don’t have to worry about having to reapply throughout the day, and in fact I seem to sweat less from using it. If you’re a person worried about the affects of chemicals and possible cancer causing things, there’s the bonus of not having to worry about possible aluminum getting into your system from using a manufactured deodorant.
Additional benefits, coconut oil has antibacterial properties, so it can help keep pores clean and fight acne. It also helps skin heal… The list goes on and on for the benefits. These are just a few of the impacts that I’ve seen in myself from the year of using it under my arms.
Totally not pushing my thoughts on anyone. I prefer natural things, and this was a natural thing that I wanted to try. And so far it’s worked amazing for me, so it’s something that I’m going to continue to do.
Lately I’ve started doing a full body rub down with coconut oil, which is the new part. Legs, arms, torso, face. All of me.
Bruises that I’ve had since February, gone. Red marks from places I’ve picked at my skin, significantly reduced. Soreness from working out, rubbed away because I’m actually massaging the acid build up out of my muscles. I have an increased awareness of my body because I’m actually paying attention to it.
Me: That curve wasn’t there before. Those muscles weren’t as defined last month. My waist didn’t cut in that much before. When did that change happen?
My skin is softer. Smoother. Healthier looking.
I’m not really sure what I’m trying to write. It’s still new. I’ve only done this three times so far, but it’s already seemed like such a positive thing that I can’t imagine not continuing it. It forces me to take a few minutes to be conscious of myself. To really see myself rather than the quick look in the mirror as I rush to get ready. It’s forcing me to manage my time with more intention. I have to set aside a bit more when I get ready so I can work the oil into my skin. That actually means that I’m less rushed because I give myself buffer time.
I don’t know. In general it makes me more aware. More present. I like it. I like being aware of the changes in myself both physically and spiritually, and while I know that there isn’t anything inherently spiritual about coconut oil, the process of making time for myself is. The intention behind it is to honor myself, and that feeds something inside of my spiritual self and I like the way that makes me feel, so I think I’m going to keep doing it.
After doing that… I don’t know what to call it since, “rubbing down” just sounds crude, I actually broke out the yoga mat and did yoga in the dinning room / kitchen. The space for the kitchen and dinning room in our apartment is really just one giant room, and with how I have rearranged things there’s a large, open section in the middle now, right in front of the window.
It’s almost the perfect yoga area. It helps that the flooring is wood rather than carpet. I did a 25 minute hatha flow focusing on hips which helped release the tightness in my hamstrings and hip flexors. I wasn’t surprised the downward dogs started off rough for me. My arms were actually shaking in the beginning as my body protested to being used.
Body: What happened that nap you were thinking about? This totally isn’t a nap…
As my muscles warmed up, loosened up, I was able to hold the postures better, stronger, longer. I’m glad I took the time to do the flow. It might be another thing I add into my days. Shower, oil, yoga, bike to work.
The ride to work was super nice. Warm. Bright. I was already limber and ready for the ride so my legs didn’t have such a rough transition from going zero to hero.
I made it to work about an hour early which let me sit alone in the break room checking my work and personal email, eating my tuna and drinking my gatorade and water. I sent my message to my instructor after reading the feedback I got from Marie. The message is below. I think it came out well, and I think I can actually have this meeting without breaking down or being an emotional wreck.
Hello Mr. Instructor,
I am Jennifer Conley, [insert student number here], and currently a student in your Digital Publishing class online via the Faculty Scholarship Program.
I firstly would like to take a moment to apologize. It was never my intention to plagiarize. As a fellow professional I understand the consequences of such actions. My motive for using the Publix brand was to create a new product within an already established theme. After reading the rubric I felt I would lose the points for creativity since the logo was not original. The product for peppermint extract itself does not exist, however, and because of this I felt the design would be original enough to fulfill the assignment.
I do not wish to escalate the situation further and would like to continue participating in your class. I understand and empathize for the position I put you in, and I accept the grade I was given.
I am saddened, and concerned, this assignment may have damaged your opinion of me as a student, co-worker, and fellow professional, and would greatly appreciate the opportunity to meet with you in person to discuss the matter. I am available to meet before 5pm any day until the end of the March term. Please let me know if there is a time which works best for you.
Again, I apologize for creating this situation.
[insert work signature with bunch of information about the classes I teach]
I haven’t gotten a reply yet, but I’m hopeful that things will go well.
I signed up for some classes being offered during the spring break training and made events for them on my Google calendar. I actually did a bit of that yesterday, too, but that was after I wrote my blog I’m pretty sure.
So yeah. Spring break is in two weeks. Students actually get time off, but faculty doesn’t. Instead we have a bunch of mandatory stuff we have to do, but there’s also a handful instructor run training events I want to go to. One of them is about cycling, for fun and for work. Not sure why I would be interested in that at all… Who would want to bike to work?
There’s another event about E3 (essentials employment experience), which is a behavioral profiling tool. I’ve taken the test twice already. Once for fun. Well… not really “fun”, but my definition for fun is different than most people, so I classify it as fun even though it would most likely fit better into a “initial research and testing” category.
Basically I was a guinea pig, and to me it was fun.
When I was signing my paper work at the start of my second degree the E3 test somehow came up in conversation and I was offered to take the test, which was something new the Factually Development department was trying out. I think we were talking about the MBTI and that lead to E3 since both those tests are related.
I had to recently take the test again as part of the application process for the Woman’s Initiative. I haven’t compared my scores, but I’m pretty sure I have the same profile. Points in different areas may be higher or lower, but I don’t think my over all profile changed. Now I’m interested and will add that to my to-do list for this week.
I find things like the MBTI and E3 and behavioral science super fascinating stuff, so I thought the course being offered during the spring break training would be interesting to take. I’m looking forward to both the cycling and E3 classes. The mandatory training… not so much… but maybe that’s because I’m still disenchanted with the changes being made to the curriculum and the mandatory training is focused on those changes.
Maybe it will have the desired affect and re-motivate me, removing my resistance to the changes being made. Maybe this training will alleviate the feeling that these changes are awful and destroying the program that I was once a student in. A program I used to be a proud graduate of. A program that I am currently an instructor in, but an instructor who no longer feels like this is a worthy cause. An instructor who feels like she’s on a sinking ship that is determined to crash and burn… so maybe it’s a plane instead of a ship… either way, it’s hard to feel like what I do is worth it sometimes. And all of the recent changes in my opinion haven’t been well received by students, and haven’t improved the quality of the program. If anything I feel the quality has been lowered, but that is just my narrow exposure to the changes so far. All of these changes are still new and being tweaked per course.
I’m sure the school, the program, will find its rhythm again, but right now we as faculty, as a program, as a school, are stumbling. The students know it. We know it. Everyone knows that this roll out has sucked. Massive, hardcore, suckage.
On top of that we’re still understaffed, overworked, and unsupported.
But… Even with all of that being said, even with my anger and disappointment in my school at the moment… we now have a full sized fridge in the break room. So maybe all I need to do is keep fighting, pushing, demanding that my co-workers and myself be treated right. Maybe I need to just not give up in order for things to get better. Maybe I shouldn’t just “take it”. Maybe I shouldn’t just go with it and focus on my escape plan.
Yes this is technically a company, but that doesn’t mean we, my co-workers and myself, are cogs that can be used until worn out and then replaced. It doesn’t mean we’re robots. We’re people, and I think certain aspects of the school has forgotten that. I think some of my own co-workers have forgotten that they are more than their job and the BS that goes on here. We need things otherwise we burnout and things feel pointless and we become unhappy. Maybe my last crusade here can be to make the environment healthy again rather than letting the school crush what once was such a wonderful and motivating thing.
I used to love being here, and I think I lost sight of that for a while.There’s no reason I can’t still enjoy it. I just have to find that passion again. And maybe this mandatory training will help with it. Maybe once the change over actually reaches my class I will see the full benefits. I’ll see the positives rather than only the negatives.
It’s still a “wait and see” type of thing. But at the moment I am hopeful. Maybe part of it is being ok with myself again and not being consumed by the depression I was feeling from the chaos of the apartment. I think it helps that Zane and I haven’t had a fight in a while. And the fights we have had have been resolved, leaving us in a better, more solid position than we were before.
All in all, I’m feeling good. I’m moving forward. I have issues that I have plans of action for. It’s summer and warm and that’s feeding into these feelings of energy and movement.
I’ll end this for now so I can get to work on my homework. Good day so far with good energy. I’m hoping to keep it going for a while. It would be nice to have a few good days in a row. Maybe even a few good weeks.