It’s morning. I’ve been awake for a few hours which surprises me. I had a hard time falling asleep so I had thought I would be slow and sluggish today, but not so. I can’t say that I’m really heartbroken about it. Even though I had some really good times on my walkabout, there were a lot of really hard times, and I started having bad dreams while I was in Texas which made sleeping hard. I haven’t recapped that part of the journey yet, so I’m sure I’ll write about it eventually. Not right now, though.
The takeaway from all of that is I slept last night, and slept well, which is something I had started questioning if I’ll ever be able to do again. I guess I can. I just have to almost kill myself with a boxing workout first. Who knew?
I did have a really long, really weird dream, but it was a lot of random and disconnected scenes and so this is actually the first dream that I can remember which I’m not putting much stock in.
I’ve already showered and cooked breakfast. My coffee is sitting beside me, neglected as always since writing takes up too much of my processing power to remember that I actually need the caffeine. I’ll get to it eventually I’m sure.
I have therapy at 11 this morning. That’s way earlier than when I was normally going, but it was the only spot available when I messaged. I don’t mind. I’m happy I get to see my therapist and tell her about the trip. She recently went on vacation, too. It will be nice to share stories with her.
I guess I should talk about yesterday a little… You know… since this is a “daily” post…
I got a lot taken care of. I went to the storage unit again and started poking through my boxes. Pulled out some stuff to bring back with me like my dish rack. I got a new cross stitch project out of my stash. I actually ordered hand dyed fabric the other day for a pattern I bought while I was in Texas. I can’t wait for it to come in. I would like to finish both of these projects before I move into my apartment.
I put air into my tires and got gas for the car. I went to Publix for a few things, including a sushi bowl for lunch. Went to the bank for a cashier’s check. Eventually I went to boxing where I had a pretty intense workout. I’ve gone the past two days after at least a month of almost nothing, and nothing consistent for the past six. I know I need to be kind to myself and not push too hard. The sadness has an easier time taking hold when I push past my limits. Because of that I didn’t go to combat practice yesterday.
I’m not sure if I wrote about SCA combat… I’ll get into details in another post, but basically I’m learning how to beat people up with swords. It’s awesome.
I was super tired and dehydrated after boxing, so I came back to my room, climbing up three flights of stairs in the process, where I cross stitched and listened to an audiobook for the rest of the night. I also made dinner and tuna so I have lunches. Look at me being a responsible adult, drinking water and eating nourishing things…
I should be getting Scarlet back later tonight. That will be nice but requires a bit of setting up as far as the room goes. Nothing major. Just moving a few things around. Since she can’t jump very well I want to put the mattress on the floor. It seemed to work well with the air mattress.
Oh. Speaking of mattresses… my friend is getting rid of the one he currently has since he’s getting a new bed. He offered for me to have the old one for free, and a couch for cheap. Yay for having furniture for the new apartment. Still need some other things, but I’m glad those two items are off the list.
I suppose I should also mention that I’m writing on my older brother’s Surface tablet. I ended up buying it from him, so I now have a laptop of sorts. It’s been amazing so far. I went out I got a messenger bag so I can carry my paper notebook with me along with my Surface, and all the other odds and ends that I normally keep in my backpack.
I like the smaller bag. The backpack is sort of overkill now since I’m not having to carry a change of clothes with me to work.
My body is sore today, but it still feels like it will be a pretty decent day. If I were using my friend’s scale I would most likely say today is a seven. At least at the moment. For now I’m going to go so I can write up a to-do list for today and start picking away at it.
That’s something I’ve been doing since I’ve been back. Sunday I went out and bought a new notebook. I’ve been making a list every day since Monday. Logically my brain goes, “Well, that’s only three days. Do you want a cookie?” Honestly though, making a to-do list used to be a core action for me. Every day, no matter what, I made my to-do list. Either right before bed or in the morning with breakfast. It was like brushing my teeth or taking a shower. It was like breathing. It just happened, no questions asked.
I’m trying to get back to there. I’m trying to figure out me in the wake of mom’s death and to-do lists are part of that me. I miss them. I miss the structure, the accountability, the guidance, the reliableness. I wasn’t perfect with them before mom’s death, so I’m not looking to be perfect now, but four days in a row is pretty good in my book, so don’t mind me while I sit over here sipping coffee feeling accomplished.
Here’s to trying to have another good day. Cheers.
Oh… and a cute picture that a friend sent me, because who doesn’t like cute pictures?