Daily Post 001: First Day Back at the Dojo


I couldn’t hang for all three hours at the dojo. I mean… I could have, and then regretted every part of that decision. But nope. This is me learning from all of the past mistakes of pushing too hard too fast.

Jujitsu was first tonight, and that had a TON of people. A lot of them I knew so even though there were significantly more people than I am used to, I wasn’t as overwhelmed as I probably would have been only a short month ago.

It was fantastic being able to tell everyone happy new year. I saw Paul and Jim and Akib and Roman and Tommy and Adanous and several other people who I don’t remember their names… but for being awful with names I’m doing surprisingly well.

I didn’t see Carolina tonight. Hopefully, she’s there tomorrow.

The class was good. Us white belts practiced chokes from back mount. I’ve done them before, but only once, so doing them again was nice. At the end, we did three rounds of sparring. I tapped one guy out with one of the chokes we had just gone over, so that was nice. Validation that I do some things right other than not get choked out myself.

I thought about not staying for Muay Thai. I wasn’t sure if I was up for it or not, but when Paul had everyone line up so we could bow out he said, “If you’re staying for Muay Thai get your gear on.” And somehow without realizing it I was in the locker room getting my gloves, shin guards, and mouth guard along with another bottle of water… So… I guess I was staying.

Muay Thai wasn’t as intense as jujitsu, and I say that from the perspective of comparing them to each other. It’s interesting to look back and compare both of these classes to things I’ve done in the past. They’re definitely on a different level than anything I’ve ever done at the YMCA. I think the only thing comparable would be a boot camp class I did while visiting my older brother a few years back. It was something I went to with Lio at the gym on the Air Force base, and that class was no joke. I’m pretty sure if looks could kill the instructor would have been dead when he told me to do more squats that day.

It amuses me, but also makes me feel cared for when we start doing body shots and the guys ask if they’re hitting me too hard with a worried look on their face.

Being a masochist I can fully attest to there being different kinds of pain. Having been in legitimately abusive relationships I can also attest to the fact that there is a difference between consensual BDSM actives and abuse.

I know I can take a hit in both situations. I also know my pain tolerance is higher than most people I have interacted with. So when I get what basically amounts to a love tap and the guys look at me like their about to break me or something it’s sweet and cute in a, “You poor thing, you. You have no idea” sort of way.


Me: “No, really. You can come at me, bro.”


Usually, the level doesn’t get set until I throw my punches or kicks. I’m still focusing on technique so I’m not going all out like I would if we were doing bag work, but I strike with intention. Once my drill partner sees what I’m comfortable with they normally match it, or go at their level with the understanding of I’m ok with what we’re doing.

It helps that this was the second time I was paired off with Roman. He’s a pretty cool guy. He talked to me more this time. He gave me some tips during the drills like keeping my elbow tucked. Small reminders about things that are important and that I forget as I try to remember everything else I’m supposed to remember about my form.

To me, it’s thoughtful. He doesn’t have to help me get better, but he is, and that means a lot to me. I always say thank you when someone at the dojo offers me advice on how to improve.

Once we bowed out for Muay Thai I thought about staying for submission grappling. By then I was out of water. I could have gotten more from the sink, but Florida water sucks. If you have ever had Florida tap water you know the struggle is real. I also figured it was better to go home and eat since I’ve had a hard time eating for the last little bit.

I’ve still had at least one meal every day, so I have that going for me. I’m hoping with getting back into the routine of the dojo and dance classes and my metabolizing picking back up the issue will fix itself. I know the “not eating” thing is from the emotions of the holiday season and the stress of traveling. Workouts forced me to eat. Going for ten days without much physical activity meant there wasn’t anything going on to force me to intake.

Well, now there is, Body. Suck it up and eat this dericious salad or else.

I also rationalized that after ten days I should ease into things. Going for two relatively light runs and then hurling myself into three hours of intense physical activity isn’t really easing… Hooray for type A personalities.

I could feel my body getting tired, too. A good tired, but if I was already tired at the beginning of submission grappling, then I most likely would be too tired to spar by the time we got to the end of the class, which is really what I would be staying for.

So as I was sitting against the wall watching the class start I decided that I had done well for the day. I had done literally all of the errands I had wanted to do. I had gone to therapy and dealt with not only my emotions of the trip and mom not being physically present for the holidays, but also tackled my angst with the apartment.

I had come home and talked to Warren and we figured out a system which should work for us as far as the chores and dog fur are concerned, so hopefully our situation will feel less one sided now.

Warren and I talked about potential job opportunities for him to look into since I’ve heard a few things that might be of interest to him. We even talked about me not taking the contract for California and started probing options I could look into here.

Surprisingly I might go back into teaching. It would be at a community college instead of Full Sail. I need to do research, but the thought of teaching again makes me happy. I didn’t resign from my job because I hated the job. I left because of the company.

So yeah, a lot of positive progress was made in several areas, and I had already done two hours of intense training. Nope. Going to go home and have dinner and drink more water, and organize my closet and cuddle with my cat and maybe cross stitch while listening to an audio book… all of that after I shower because I swear I lost half my body weight through sweat.

It was a good day. Slow to start, but good. I’m glad I’m back at it with the dojo. Jim asked me as I was leaving if I was going to be there tomorrow night. I have dance class tomorrow, but I should be able to get to the dojo for the last hour which would be more Muay Thai. I think I’m going to do it. I want to be there. We’ll see if it works out.

That’s about it. Good day. Good work out. New bruises. I’m going to label my day as done and go indulge my quirky INFJness obsession for organizing things.


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