I thought I would be able to just log into Final Fantasy and play my character, but with not having logged in for so long I really should have expected to have to download content first… Lame.
So that’s what I’m currently doing while I take a moment to type and reflect on the day.
I was able to go for my bike ride. It was… awesome, yet at the same time not. I went at noon, which means it was super warm and sunny. I loved it, yet at the same time, I know it most likely wasn’t the smartest option for me with having not done a whole lot outside since I’ve moved here.
I biked just under 11 miles; from the trailhead at Saltillo to Hickman Road. I had been hoping to get all the way to Princeton, but I also knew shortly after Roca Road that I wouldn’t be making it that far. At least not there AND back and I most definitely had to be able to make it back because there was no way in hell I was going to call someone and admit defeat.
I was getting down on myself for not being able to make it to Princeton by the time I made it to the overpass. I took a break and a moment to reflect on how I felt I was doing. While I recovered I drank one of my bottles of water and had a Nature Valley bar.
Right Brain: I’ve earned these carbs! Omnomnomnom. :E
When I got back on the bike to head back the way I had come, I was pretty surprised by how much easier it felt. It couldn’t have all been mental. It had to have been more than the break I took and the realization that I was headed home. I seriously think for most of the section from Roca Road to Hickman Road that the trail is at a slight incline because going back was so much easier than going south.
As I was heading back I passed by a couple who were taking their wedding photos. The wife looked amazing in her dress and it made me smile to see their reaction when I said congratulations as I passed.
It was a good ride. I enjoyed being out in the warmth and I liked how away from society it felt. I loved being surrounded by the trees and crossing all of the bridges over the streams.
I’m proud of my ride. Yet at the same time… I don’t know. I didn’t make it to where I wanted to go. My legs were more sore than I had been hoping they would be. I had wanted to do a 20-mile ride, not just a “close to 11” mile ride. I had wanted to do more, but wouldn’t it be more positive to focus on the fact that I went at all, rather than bashing myself for having limits and airing on the side of caution rather than pushing myself too far too fast? Wouldn’t it be better to focus on the positive rather than the self-imposed negative? Can we try to do that, Brain?
What were the positives?
Nature. Sun. Music. The kind stranger who stopped while I was taking a break to make sure I didn’t need help. The relative solitude of my ride. The strangers who waved as we passed each other; the unspoken comradery between humans as you acknowledge the other’s existence. The fact that I went. The fact that my bike didn’t fall off my car on the way to or from the trail because I might have been mildly freaking out over that happening. Seeing the happy couple.
See, Brain. Positive shit. More good things happened than not good things so chill with the “It wasn’t a good ride” thoughts.
I’m glad I went. I’m glad I know what the trail feels like going out and coming back. I’m glad that I did it rather than not. I feel like from this point forward I’ll be able to do better each time. Now that it’s not new, I’ll be more ok with pushing myself harder and further.
Currently, I’m not overly sore from the ride though I’m still waiting to see how I feel when I wake up tomorrow. I’m still under my carb count even with going to SubWay for lunch after I got back.
The bike rack worked amazingly well and I’m looking forward to trying to make my bike ride a weekly event. I know during winter that most likely won’t be able to happen, so I want to do it as much as I can now. Not this weekend since I have my race and will most likely be dead on Sunday.
I’m nervous about my weigh in at the gym on Thursday. I feel like I am doing a lot more recently. I did my runs on Thursday and Saturday. I did the bike ride today. I’m going to the dojo on Monday…
I’m worried the numbers are still going to be lame. And there’s a part of me who doesn’t understand why that bothers me when I don’t really have a goal in mind to begin with. If I’m not actively striving for something that can be quantified then how can I feel frustrated or saddened when I don’t achieve that quantity?
I don’t have an answer for that and I don’t really think I want to delve too far into it at the moment, to be honest.
I’ve finished all of my cooking for today. I want to make Ox’s lunch before I go to sleep, and it would be nice to start my laundry so it can be dry for tomorrow. I want to pack my gym bag so I can drive straight to the dojo if need be. I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to stop at home first, but just in case, I want to have it ready to go and with me.
I think the place I need to start in regards to myself is addressing my health goals. I think once I experience the dojo it will be easier to clarify those things to myself, so I don’t think a whole lot can or should be done right now.
I know one of my goals is to bike all the way to Beatrice. I want to set that goal for the end of summer but I don’t know how realistic that is since I’m not honestly sure how far that would be on the trail. I know by car it’s roughly 30 miles, so I would imagine it would be in that ballpark for the bike.
If I’m already biking close to 11 miles then I’m already 1/3 of the way there. I don’t think biking there and back is a good goal to set, but then I’m not sure. I think I would rather talk to my trainer about that and see what he feels would be realistic. 60 miles seems like a lot. At that point, I would be able to pretty much bike the whole trail all the way to Kansas, which that goal is on my radar. Along with eventually doing a century ride at least once, just to be able to say I can and that I did.
Achievement Unlocked: Spending way too much time on your bike.
That’s along the lines of being able to do 20 pullups… I’m still working on doing one, ok Brain? Can we not take things slow and just get to step one before you plan out the next four billion moves? No? Oh… well… You suck. Thanks.
Anywho. I’m pretty sure the patch is done.
Today was a good day. My ride was a good ride. I’m not as worried about work. I’m not as stressed as I was. And you know what? After writing… All of my ride was a good ride, so screw you, Brain. I did better than I did yesterday. I did better than I’ve done in five months.
I didn’t let the Universe, or you, stop me.
I made this happen. Finally. And I have the pics to prove it. So now I’m off to run around in circles mining lightening crystals so I can level my weaving rather than actually killing monsters or progressing through the game because who needs storyline when you can make things?